the thumbhole chronicles

Tonight's bowling was painful.

2012-02-09T22:24:00.001-06:00

I was a disaster-- missed 2 out of 3 10-pins, guttered the 6-10, had every split in the book (7-10, Greek church, you name it). It was awful. And it took us over 3 hours to bowl 3 games. Slow and frustrating.

Team Dos Equis was in 5th place ( a mere 7 points out of 2nd place) going into tonight's action. We went away with 18 points and our tails between our legs. I was a team liability, taking (barely) 2 points. I was 23 pins under average (and I paid $10 for an entry into the AMF $700K National In-League Tournament Center Finals, a pins-OVER-average competition). Rick was 60 under and Don was 40 under. Tim fared better with a 545 series and 8 points.

We stunk. We got killed. On to Tuesday via the USBC Ft. Worth City Tournament that Mick and I will be in over the weekend...

Am I ready? Tonight's numbers say NO.

sigh

The Stones rolled without me...

2012-02-08T17:13:00.001-06:00

...and took 6 points last night!

Woo-hoo!

Mick had a nice 579 series to lead the team in taking 3 out of 4! Donna and Carter were in for me and Tim, respectively.

Way to go, Stoners!

Another 'typical' practice yesterday...

2012-02-05T13:44:00.003-06:00

Mick and I rolled 6 games on the end pair yesterday afternoon. The lanes were in relatively good condition, but I just couldn't find it. I peeled off a few good shots, but I was AGAIN all over the place-- games in the 140s, 150s, 160s, 170s, 180s, and 190s. Very few strikes and very little consistency for about a 170 avg. Lately, my practices have been less than impressive.

I found out this morning about a Tuesday night church obligation which will have to preempt bowling, so I'm out until Thursday...

It's just as well. Maybe I need a little break.

Delusions of Grandeur!

2012-02-03T12:44:00.001-06:00

The Thumbhole Business Plan
(way cool shirt, eh?)

Perhaps it doesn't sound like much, but I rolled a 587 last night in the thick of some really good bowlers. (Okay, well now that I think on it, it does sound like much-- for me, anyway-- because I had about a 199 avg. over all 6 games this week). I wasn't overly strike-prolific, and I was a little less STUPID than on Tuesday. I'm still using the Defiant and Taboo Spare (with which I made every 10-pin last night-- woo-hoo!-- now that's news). My first game was a 214 with an open 10th frame (my signature)... The simple shots I missed were: 4-7, a chopped 3-6-10, a chopped 3-6, and I left the 3-10 split twice. I had only 2 major splits on the night. I had too many single- and double-pin spares. Not enough strikes (most of the ones I did have were Brooklyn or downright ugly) to counteract my mistakes.

Team Dos Equis had a relatively good night-- a 184 pbpg avg.-- against one of the better teams in the house owned and operated by probably THE best bowler in the house. These guys cranked out over 3100 pins scratch (a 211 pbpg avg.). We tried to keep up, and took 25 (almost half) points (hell, I took 6 against a guy with an avg. 30 pins over mine). I let the last game slip through my fingers... Don, the team hood ornament, had a season-low last game... So we lost total pins (and about 8 needed points) after roaring back from giving up 11 points (out of 14 per game) in the first game. It was fun, though. Kelly, the team's owner/anchor (with a 224 avg.) was also rolling a Defiant (however, his seemed to work better than mine!).

I think I am, once again, delusional. When I first looked at my series on the recap screen, all I could see were my mistakes. When did a 195 avg. over 3 games become not good enough? For a guy who can't seem to throw the same shot twice, it's more like just-this-side-of-awesome. I don't know. If I think about it too much I just get confused. So I choose to remain delusional and live in a fantasy bowling world where 200+ is the bottom line.

Back in The Real World, bowling is a team sport. And last night was a position round. The 4th place Dos Equis boys were 1 steenk-eeng point behind the team we bowled in the standings. Now we're 6 points back. Depending on how the 1st and 2nd place teams did, we may move a place up or down.

And last, but not at all least, we found out last night that Damon won't be bowling with us anymore due to too many other obligations. So we'll continue to rotate Mick, Rick, and Vick (no I'm not making that up) in and out...

Oh and this 587 was my 2nd highest series in this league (that I'm certain intimidated not only me but my average when we started 5 months ago). I feel like I'm starting to rise up out of the pit (Thursday's has been the deepest) and am gravitating back toward a 180+ avg. For Thursday, that would be a most prodigious accomplishment, considering the best averge I've held to date was a 174 a month ago!

Three frames of STUPID!

2012-01-31T22:29:00.000-06:00

Okay, so I shot a 606 series tonight. The lanes were good, I rolled a lot of strikes, but my 178 second game had open 8th, 9th, and 10th frames. My third game went like this: open 1st, turkey, open 5th, turkey, open 9th, turkey, for a sloppy 206. I went through the nose two or three times, left two or three major splits, missed the 10-pin once, and left the 10 in a 3-6-10. But 3 opens in a row in the last 3 frames is just plain STUPID. I had 90 pins to play with and I got maybe 10. So I'm fortunate to have made it over 600 tonight...

For the 3rd time, I paid $3 to try-try-again in order to make the Top Ten in the Top Ten Bonus Round of the AMF 700K National In-League Tournament. Before I left for bowling this afternoon, I noticed on the AMF tournament site that the current 10th place bowler in my division is 175 pins over average. Tonight I was about 65 over. Not nearly enough to be taken seriously. I think I'm done now, so Thursday night I'm going to keep my money in my pocket.

The 4th place Bowling Stones took 6 points again! We were only 4 points out of 1st place and we beat the 2nd place team in our division tonight. Even with Debbie blind, it was a good team night; however, had I not gone brain-dead at the end of the 2nd game, I feel certain that we'd have swept our opponents.

I'm 2/10's of a pin away from getting back to a 180 avg. My avg. + 1 next Tuesday is a 548 series.

A 606. Yeah, I'm sipping a snort of Laphroaig, but I'm not overly satisfied with my performance tonight. So many strikes. The bouts of stupidity. Like Schindler, I could have done so much more...

In spite of it all, I remain Defiant.

What a day.

2012-01-30T18:10:00.000-06:00

This day started out so well! I had 2 great AP English 4 classes, then played a little online Scrabble on my lunch break...

Then during my last class, a female student who had asked to use the restroom came back into my classroom with this dazed and confused look on her face. I asked her what was wrong and she sheepishly said that there was a boy and a girl in the girls restroom. So I went to see what was going on and as I was walking toward my door, I could see through the window into the hallway that a boy and a girl were moving quickly from the girls restroom to the neighboring boys. So I went in and the boy was just standing there, but the girl-- a 17-year old senior, as it turned out, dressed all gothy-- was at one of the urinals. I said "What are you doing?" She said "Peeing." Then "Just joking." I let the AP handle her... (By the by, there's nothing remotely sexy about a girl at a urinal-- it freakin' creeped me out.)

Then I came home, pulled my bowling coupons out of my back pack, changed clothes and headed off to practice (leaving the damned coupons on the kitchen counter). When I got to the lanes, there was one girl at the counter working the end of her shift-- she was the counter, concessions, and bar, all in one, except she didn't have a key for the beer taps, nor had she ever drawn a beer...

So when she finally figured out the beer tap, I got a large Coors Light about 2/3's full (with head) and bitched. She brought the other 1/3 in a separate glass.

My practice this afternoon was with one of the servers, Holly, who was warming up for her Monday night league. She bowls like she's on crack. Well, actually, she doesn't use the thumb hole and she throws a house ball-- she's relatively accurate, too; however, if she were the bombardier in the back seat, she'd have a few hits and a whole lot of collateral damage. Seriously, she bowls at a frequency only dogs can hear. (Apparently, I'm not the only one who sweats during bowling...) Holly's very nice, but way too unfettered for me.

The lanes were greasy. There was no break whatsoever, even with a throttled-back delivery. I bought a discount-pack of microfiber towels at Wal-Mart and used one, brand new out of the package, to clean my ball. It was just about black when I was done, after only 4 games.

I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed. It took me 2 games to figure out that I could either A) throw the Defiant from about 10-15 boards to the RIGHT (way, way inside) or B) use the Epidemic from about board 5. The first 2 games were not very productive; the 3rd was when the light bulb came on and I moved (duh!), and the 4th was a nice game with 2 opens that ended in the 190s. And, for some odd reason, I made every 10-pin spare.

Oh yeah. One other thing. This is the second week of the AMF 700K National In-League Tournament "Top Ten" competition. Up until a few hours ago, there had been no results from the previous week posted-- so I emailed AMF about it and they told me to email the tournament director directly. So I did. Here's what I got back:

Our Top 10 Bonus Round has been so exciting for our league bowlers. Many like you are anxious to view the results.

To answer your question regarding the Top 10 BR posting….
Our goal is to have the Top 10 Bowlers in each Division posted on amf.com this afternoon.
It’s important thatALL scores be verified before posting. We are currently verifying scores bowled from last night’s Top 10 participants.

As soon as that’s complete the results will be posted.

Okay. The names are there, but there are no actual "results." AMF? Tournament Director? What gives?

Ah, what a Monday.

On to Tuesday and league night where a 620 or so series would get me BACK over 180...

All I can tell you, is stay tuned. The plot keeps thickening...

Watching the USBC Masters...

2012-01-29T13:03:00.002-06:00

The PBA is live on ESPN! Finally. (PBA, do you hear me? I said "Finally.".)

I have to admit, I'm not a fan of the PBA hype that happens from time to time, especially with the younger pros...

When 38-year old part-time PBA-er Byron Smith appeared on my tv screen, I thought he was one of the roadies-- the hair and puffy eyes... What a pleasure to watch, though! No talkin' smack, no drama (well, he's had a lot in his life off the lanes), no shouting on the lanes, great demeanor, and he's got a smooth, functional, low-rev delivery (from about board 5, I think). When he went through the nose in the 4th frame after 3 strikes, he worked around it. Dan McClelland was up 27 pins 2 frames later... Then he opened on the 2-4-8 in the 7th and that was the beginning of the end for him. Smith won by 40+ pins. He is what he is and I hope he makes it to the championship match against Chris Barnes. (Not to knock Mike "The Argyle Assassin" Fagan-- I like watching him, too...)

While Fagan and Smith are starting, let me put a plug in for Gary Thorne, ESPN's new PBA announcer. He just sounds like he knows what he's talking about. He and Randy are jibin' like they've been together for years. I also have to say, it's a bit different without Rob Stone, who actually grew on me...

Well. Smith spent most of the 2nd match in 10-pin hell; a 5th frame 5-count washout didn't help-- he left the 10 standing. Fagan sure did loft his first balls, a little further down the lane each frame (or so it seemed). (Normally very laid-back, Fagan did yawp on his 8th and 9th frame strikes...) Fagan took it by almost 50 pins. I feel bad for Smith, but that's bowling... Hero one frame, goat the next.

So now it's Barnes and Fagan. I'm kind of rooting for the one-shoed (he wears a running shoe on his push-off foot) Fagan (but it would be great to see Chris Barnes become the 3rd pro bowler-- behind Mike Aulby and Norm Duke-- in history to capture the grand slam, winning the four majors on the PBA Tour: the USBC Masters, PBA Tournament of Champions, U.S. Open, and the PBA World Championship). Shhh... The final match is starting...

(Fagan's first ball had a huge loft and left the 6-7-10 split; next frame another huge loft, well over the arrows, converted the 10.)

In the 4th frame, Fagan's frustration was staring to show. In the 5th, he was down 31 pins and finally got a strike. Then another. (Both balls had reduced loft, landing on the arrows.) A smoother 3rd strike... Another loft, another strike... They were even going into the game-killer 8th frame and Barnes left a 4-7-10 split (ouch!). Fagan struck his way into the 10th frame and won! (Barne's look of consternation could be felt by every bowler watching).

Now I feel sorry for Barnes.

But damn. That's bowling.

Next time, I'm bringing my own oil.

2012-01-28T20:54:00.000-06:00

So we went for a few games of practice this afternoon, Mick and I. The lanes were bone-dry. Everyone practicing (it was free league practice time) was having trouble. My Defiant was wheeling left like it was possessed. This was the first time I've bowled with it on dry lanes-- the only pocket-shot strikes I could make were when I cranked it to about an inch from the gutter, almost 2/3 of the distance to the pins, then it would come back. That is so NOT how I deliver that ball with oil on the lanes. It was a struggle.

We bowled 6. Mick was more consistent than I was; once again my scores were all over the place. Let's just say that there was a span of almost 100 pins between my high and low games...

Anyway, I guess we all need practice on all kinds of lane conditions.

Onward to Tuesday night.

Practice with high schoolers...

2012-01-27T21:10:00.001-06:00

After last night's disappointing series (I still feel the last vestiges of my bad bowling hangover, even as I write this at 9pm), I felt less like a bowling coach and more like a bowling boob when I showed up for high school practice this afternoon. During the 2-hour session, I bowled about the same as last night.

When it was over, a few of my students asked me if I wanted to bowl some more. Since my wife is away on business, I agreed. After a short food and beer break (in the bar, after practice, away from the kids), I met a couple of my students for 3 games and popped a very comfortable and mostly effortless 595 series-- everything felt good (except the 4 missed 10-pins that cost me a practice 600 series). One of my students has gotten much better since Day 1; I had to threaten to fail him in AP English 4 if he beat me (he's a senior-- I think that for a moment he thought about his future, then he bowled a strike).

It was actually kind of fun to spend 3 hours with teenagers calling me "Coach" (and trying to get me to play them for $1 a pin).

They're good kids and I had a good time bowling, mistakes and all.

Mistakes and all.

The team won without me...

2012-01-26T22:48:00.000-06:00

...maybe, better, in spite of me. Oh I was physically there. I actually took 2 points from a guy with an average 16 pins under mine...by 1 stinkin' pin. I was a bowling disaster. A whoppin' 69 pins under on the night. I actually bowled a 136 and a 139. The first game, the 136, had 5 opens and 3 splits, one of which was a 7-10 in the 10th. It never got better from there. I think I had 5 strikes all night. When I suck, I SUCK.

Yet we won! Team Dos Equis went into the action tonight in 4th place, only 17 points out of 1st. We (well, the other 4 guys, really) took 34. If I'd been blind, we'd have taken more...seriously.

I bowled unbelievably bad tonight. I don't know why. I had 3 different guys (not on our team) give me their opinions on why I was so bad... In this league everybody watches everybody else. And everyone's an expert. My own diagnosis-- I forced the ball, I couldn't play the oil, I missed the mark, I didn't make the easy spares, all the usual stuff. Some nights I just CAN'T do it.

Tomorrow's bad bowling hangover will be a killer.

(oh yeah and my already crappy average dropped a pin)

All hail Garland and Mick!

2012-01-24T22:42:00.001-06:00

Okay, I admit it. After the 4th place Bowling Stones won the 1st game by 43 pins, then lost the 2nd by 50, then were behind by about 30 pins halfway through the 3rd (I had about 85 pins in the 6th frame), I wrote us off. I thought we were going to give up 6 points.

But we didn't! Garland and Mick finished the 3rd game about 40 pins over average each to seal the deal. We won, taking 3 out of 4 and 6 points-- we took total pins by only 16, but it was enough...

I finished with a mistake-riddled 578, 47 pins over my entering average for the Top Ten Round (not enough, probably to win anything, but enough to get on the board). In this week's virtual tournament some guy shot a 750 series... So with handicap and loser (bonus) pins, I'm currently in 7th place.

I'm kind of unhappy with my series tonight-- the last game, a 171, had 3 splits (3 bad first balls). I should have been better. Oh well.

On to Thursday.

It was a draw between Skill and Stupid.

2012-01-23T15:54:00.001-06:00

I took my two 2-free-games coupons to the lanes this afternoon to bowl...well, 4 free games. I ended up bowling 8. And, as is my usual custom of late, I averaged about 180. I have to say of myself that I either bowled well or just STUPID. No in-between. I couldn't get over 200-- I hit it on the head one game, but the rest were 3 in the 190s, 1 in the 180s, and 3 in the 160s. The 200 game had an open 8th (missed 7-pin-- gah!!) and an open 10th (split). Each of the 190s games had, sadly more spares than strikes, and I can't remember a time I had so freakin' many ringing 7s and 10s! I was about 90% on the left corner and I made more 10-pins than I missed. I even made a 6-7-10 in there somewhere, but I was 1-fer-3 on the 3-10 (a spare I usually make).

What I didn't do was pick up two 5-7-8s and 3 buckets, and I chopped the 6-10 twice. Easy, easy, easy. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

I threw a lot of pocket shots this afternoon. It felt good, in spite of the scores.

Used to be that I became simply amazed if I could function at the 180 level! Even a year ago I was ecstatic at hitting a 180 league average for the first time ever. Now I'm becoming mildly disgusted when that's the best I can do. In fact, and AGAIN without meaning to sound pretentious, hitting 190 or 200 only means that some bad first balls or missed spares took away a 210 or 220. And that's where I am (no, not 210 or 220). I kick the legs out from under a good game far too often!

I pulled the Taboo out from behind the passenger seat in my truck and tried to do with it what I think I know how to do with the Defiant. It was not pretty (one of the 160s games was half Taboo, half Defiant), so back into hiding it went.

So. It's been a year and, sadly, I'm trying to reach 180 again on Tuesday night. After my market-crash drop of 10 pins from 185 in 11 weeks, I need a 590 to go up a pin to 179. A 655 gets me there... A 655 on top of a 482 on Thursday. Yep, I agree with you. It's a longshot. But I'm also in two tournaments...

Ahh, the pressure...

And speaking of tournaments, Mick and I are going back to the USBC Ft. Worth City Tournament the weekend of February 11-12. We went last year for the first time and I set a record-- 20 splits in 6 games. We were only singles and doubles last year; this year we're singles, doubles, and on a team, so we'll bowl in two different houses. Hopefully, it'll be better for me this time...

...and I've been practicing without a ballcap. ;)

On to tomorrow night and this week's tournaments! It's exciting!

180. I have to get over it.

Things aren't ALWAYS as they appear.

2012-01-21T17:20:00.000-06:00

This is from an actual print ad.
Any idea what she's selling?

Let's say I'm your bowling opponent (fortunately for you, I don't look like the well-assembled specimen to the left-- more about her later...we're talking about me here, so try to focus). You can reasonably expect me to shoot an average of ±180. You might see a 214, then a 153. A 167, then a 170. Then a clean 196 (which, seriously now, should have been a clean 256). These are the scores I put up with Mick this morning during practice. You see, li'l chilluns, in the world of mainstream, amateur THBs, Uncle Thumbhole a loose cannon.

And it's not just practice. Take my last four league nights for example. I averaged 190 over 12 games in 4 nights-- not too bad, even I can admit that. But what's with the high and low swings? A Tuesday 503, followed by a Thursday 637, follwed buy a Tuesday 658 (gadzooks!), and then capped with a putrid Thursday 482. What gives, the team doctor asks himself-- how can such erratic behavior be explained?

This morning my first-ball deliveries were, generally (but frankly) speaking, awry. While I made 2 or 3 2-5-8 spares, a couple of bucket shots, and most of the corner shots, about a half dozen times I just whiffed a single- or double-pin spare left in the center of the lane.

Surely sombody could get a grant to study me. On the lanes, as in real life, I'm a square peg in a round hole.

Not to change the subject entirely, but you know, I almost entered last week's virtual tournament (I was going to use my Thursday scores!)... I haven't entered one yet in 2012, but I think it's time. Especially since next week is is the first of a two-week Top 10 Bonus Round in this AMF $700K National In-League Tournament:

AMF will host a two week in-league Top 10 Bonus Round from Monday, January 23 through Sunday, February 5, 2012 during the center's regular AMF league play. The Top 10 Bonus Round is ONLY open to those Bowlers who finish in the Top 10 positions in their Division at the completion of the Center qualifying round, including ties. Bowlers from each AMF center will compete against all other AMF centers nationwide by Division. The Bowler's highest pins-over-average score during the two weeks of the Top 10 Bonus Round competition will be ranked nationally with Bowlers in their same Division.

The entry fee is $3.00 (90% prize fund/10% tournament expense) per 3-game series and the Bowler must pay it to AMF (NO CHECKS) prior to the start of the 4th frame of the 1st game of AMF in-league play. Pre-bowl and post-bowl scores will not be accepted. A Top 10 Bowler may enter as many times as their AMF League bowls its regular schedule during the Top 10 Bonus Round. There will be NO makeups scheduled for the Top 10 Bonus Round. A Bowler's Bonus Round score will be their pins-over-average score after calculating the 3-game AMF in-league series minus their entering pins-over-average score. Prize money collected during the Top 10 Bonus Round will be distributed using the following percentages:
     1st Place: 30%           6th Place: 6%
     2nd Place: 20%          7th Place: 6%
     3rd Place: 10%          8th Place: 5%
     4th Place: 7%            9th Place: 5%
     5th Place: 7%            10th Place: 4%

AMF will pay all prize money by check. See Section IX, Rule #2 for complete instructions. In the event of ties, the prize money will be combined and divided equally among the tied position winners.

A Bowler must return their completed and signed score sheets to AMF by the time league play ends. Only originals will be accepted. No facsimile copies.

A Bowler's Top 10 Bonus Round scores will not carry over to the Center Final round and will have NO effect on their Tournament ranking.

Why not go for it all, eh? I think I'm going to enter next week's virtual tournament using both nights, just to see what shakes out (hopefully, not another sub-500 series!). Besides, I like all that added pressure...

And...well...if I'me fated to be a loose cannon, let's hope I'll be a loose cannon firing in the right direction!

Okay. Okay. About the ad. The hook line is "Right down the Alley..." However, according to this webpage, she's a shill for shinola.

Take it from Uncle T. Things in bowling aren't always as they appear, from a 12-game 190 average to a smilin' bowling babe built like a brick sh...well...um...you know what I mean.   ;)

658-482=176. No Laphroaig tonight.

2012-01-19T22:03:00.001-06:00

I so wanted to blame the ball for my poor performance this evening, but I just couldn't.

Tomorrow my bad bowling hangover will be a doozy, after 3 hours' worth of imbibing a witch's brew of missed 10-pins (all of them), splits, and empty 10ths (2 out of 3). Season that with an obvious inability to read the lanes, adjust, and follow through, and you've got one lethal bowling cocktail.

Team Dos Equis took only 20 (of 56) points tonight, in spite of Rick's 710 and Don's 687. Once AGAIN I was a major part of the problem. My opening game was a 135 (3 splits, open 10th, missed 10-pin, and chopped 1-3-5). I bowled stupid, almost 200 pins under Tuesday's series.

So the 3rd place Dos Equis will be duly relegated to the middle of the pack. The league secretary told me that I had a big head from shooting over 650 Tuesday; I don't think so, but I never expected to bowl so badly tonight!

I still remain Defiant, but I gotta tell ya... I'm just bummin'.

Break out the Laphroaig!

2012-01-17T22:21:00.002-06:00

[well, there's already a snort of Laphroaig in my glass]

My best series of 637 was shattered tonight by my new best series of 658! And I did it with my Roto Grip Defiant (and Taboo Spare)... My first game was 214, clean until a 7-10 split in the 10th. The 2nd game was a 200 (chopped 3-6 in the 7th), and the 3rd game was a 244 with a missed 10-pin in the 6th. I bowled better tonight than I ever have! I just love that Defiant-- I've broken two records in the past two league nights with it.

So the 6th place Bowling Stones took 6 out of 8 points tonight. It was a good team night.

Additionally, since I bowled 127 pins over average and I paid $3 to try to up my standing in the AMF $700K National In-League Tournament, I'm now in the Top Ten and will qualify for the the Top Ten Bonus Round that takes place over the next 2 weeks (assuming I don't get bumped later this week). I'm tied for 7th place in B Division (160-179 avg.).

Are things finally looking up? Do I have a "magic" ball? Only time will tell...

But for tonight, it feels pretty good to have bowled well.

Really good.

I remain Defiant.

I believe I have Jekyll and Hyde Syndrome.

2012-01-12T22:13:00.001-06:00

(it really is a syndrome-- look it up)

I'm sitting on my patio with my laptop, smoking a see-gar, and enjoying a snort of Laphroaig scotch. I only get out the Laphroaig when I break 600. It's too expensive to drink casually. So a bottle, lately, can last me an entire season. And it's about 30 degrees right now (10pm).

Tonight team Dos Equis whooped ass. For the second week in a row. I shot a 637 with the Defiant. I used my Spare 4 times and only missed (barely) the 3-10 split. I would have broken 650 for the first time ever, but my first game had a split in the 10th.

As a team, we rocked. We scored over 3,000 pins SCRATCH. We took 39 points (there was a tie between the 4th spot bowlers in one game). And so we shall remain in first place.

I feel like a bowler tonight. Two nights ago, I felt like someone who had never seen a bowling ball before. In my Jekyll and Hyde world, two days means a difference of 134 pins.

It was a good night.

May there be more.

Another day has dawned...

2012-01-12T05:54:00.000-06:00

...a ThursDAY. My bad bowling hangover yesterday lingered until late in the afternoon, before dissipating during a nap after school. It was a humdinger, too.

I feel better about bowling this morning. Who knows what the evening has in store for me. Maybe the bowling gods will take it easy on me-- I DO feel somewhat repentant after Tuesday's disaster.

By the way and coincidentally, I have a meeting with my pastor before bowling tonight. Hmm. Now that I think about it, maybe I should have scheduled it AFTER... ;)

Onward. And, hopefully, upward!

-10 pins in 11 weeks!

2012-01-10T22:16:00.001-06:00

The Bowling Stones got killed tonight. It was ugly. We lost by 449 pins scratch, 296 handicap. We had a pbpg avg. of 154, not enough to get the job done; our opponents, however, had a pbpg avg. of 184-- just one more mediocre team to have a breakout night against us.

For the 2nd week in a row I've had a pathetic 503 series. My average is now 175, a 10-pin drop in 11 weeks. The new Defiant was okay, 99% of my first ball deliveries were 8, 9, or strike. I was awful with the Spare ball, just awful. I missed the 8-pin twice, guttered twice (!) on a 10 and a 3-6, and for the first time ever I dropped my ball on the approach (it slipped off my thumb)-- it was AGAIN one of those nights. I've had one of those nights now for the last 10 weeks.

Carter was the only one on the team to make average with a 536. I was 26 under.

Bowling really wasn't fun tonight. I spent most of the 2nd and 3rd games pissed-off at myself.

The Defiant felt so good in practice. Maybe Thursday I can do something more meaningful with it.

It's SO hard to not be discouraged.

I'm primed for the Defiant debut!

2012-01-09T19:29:00.000-06:00

I rolled 4 games this afternoon: 159, 199, 200, 150. The first game was 10 frames of near misses (about 4 splits). The second had an open 1st and empty 10th. The third had a six pack, but an open 1st and a split in the 8th (my signature frame). The last game was one irritation after another; I missed the pocket about half the time and had 3 opens in the 8th, 9th, and 10th. But...

I had a lot of strikes again! I even made all of my 10-pins and 6-10s with my Spare. But mistakes in delivery keep me from bowling consistently. And I'm still trying to figure out all the spare shots with the Defiant.

Tomorrow night SHOULD be a good (better) night!

P.S. Team XX on Thursday night is now officially Dos Equis, a name that says "keggling," rather than just "bowling." And we are the most interesting people we know. It was time for a change.

Another fairly good practice.

2012-01-08T14:38:00.000-06:00

Much to my wife's chagrin, I headed off to the lanes after church this morning and rolled 5 games with my new dynamic duo, the Roto Grip Defiant and Hammer Taboo Spare. And I gotta tell you, sportsfans, this Defiant is quickly becoming the most comfortable ball I've ever bowled with.

In my first two games I was solo, and though I had a lot of strikes, I finished with a 140 and a 160. Both games had at least 3 splits and a missed 10-pin (I made more than I missed when it was all over). Then my Thursday night teammate Don materialized out of nowhere (well, out of somewhere, really-- he had been bowling on the other end of the lanes when I came in) and joined me for 3 more games.

I really started striking while bowling with Don (it's always nice to have a witness). The first game was a 229 (a split and a missed 3-pin, a shot I rarely miss), the second game was a 193 (through the nose, then another missed 3-pin!!), and I ended on a sloppy 183 (poor wrist control, body going right, arm going left, etc.). The important thing is I rolled a lot of strikes with that Defiant. I know that it was only practice, but it's been a long, long time since I've strung 3 games together for 600+ pins.

But, again, Tuesday night will be the judge. So far, though, I feel better about my bowling!

In other bowling news, I've been watching the PBA on ESPN this afternoon. What an interesting telecast! If you missed it, you missed Jason Belmonte's 2-handed 300 game and rookie Josh Blanchard's ignominious tv debut (a 128-- in the 10th frame his ball got stuck on his thumb and he went over the foul line, then slipped and fell in the oil; I think that upstaged Tom Daugherty's 100 on tv last season...what a way to break into the lights, huh?). It was kind of cool to watch Brian Kretzer rolling his Defiant in the title match against Belmo.

I may go roll 4 more tomorrow after school if my coupons show up on time.

I want to feel as confident as possible going into league on Tuesday!

"They said I can't....

2012-01-07T14:14:00.000-06:00

...That is why I must." (Not yo' grandpappy's poster-boy, eh? Cool mantra, though. I'm adopting it.)

The house I bowl in is old, the lanes are anyone's guess on any given night, the pinsetters constantly fail, and a call for a ball return often means damaged goods are going to come back; however, the pro shop is great (in my humble and absurdly amateur opinion). I took my newly-minted Roto Grip to the pro shop yesterday before my high schoolers showed up for practice and Cody the Other Pro Shop Guy (Andrew is the Pro Shop Guy) drilled it out for me and I had time to roll a few with it while he was standing there watching. After a miss to the left and a miss to the right, followed by another miss to the right, and another to the left, I hit the pocket. I didn't bowl any complete games with it, but the feel was good! (And, after calling for a ball return, my new ball came back with a scrape on it-- Cody fixed it, though, so it still looks 99.9% brand new.)

In the two days I've had it, this ball has already turned heads. How can a schlep like me have a new ball like this before the 1/10/12 availability date? Even I have to admit that this is a reasonably good question to ponder...

This morning I bowled 6 with Mick using just the Defiant and the Taboo Spare. I rolled a lot of strikes with the new ball (high games 222 and 209), but started out with the same old missed 10-pins and splits that left the first 2 games well under par. There were two games, 170 and 175, that were the result of going through the nose, missing the 10-pin, and/or leaving splits in the 8th and 9th frames (as is my custom-- I can single-handedly kill a good game faster than you can spell chrysanthemum). I think I've got a handle on this new ball, which Cody intentionally drilled to be less aggressive on the lanes. When I slowed up on the approach (starting from about a foot behind and 4 boards left of the first board 35 dot), cupped the ball, hit the mark, and followed through, the strikes were there.

So my first impression of this ball is a good one! I feel a little more positive about going into Tuesday night with a ball I can actually deliver with some semblance of confidence. I have decided that my aggressive Taboo might be a tad too much ball for a chump like me, my Epidemic is feeling some age, and my Spare ball is starting to lose patience with me.

Tuesday night, the Defiant will be the starter. I will be expecting a better-than-average series... Until then, check out the cool video about this ball (Randy Pedersen likes it). Roto Grip may make me a believer in myself at last!

Stay tuned.

Defiant.

2012-01-06T08:56:00.001-06:00

Hmm.

Last night was much like Tuesday for me. I bowled 7 pins under, not bad enough to chop a pin off my sorry 172 average, but enough to take 6 (of 8) points and help my team win. Yeah, that's right...

After finishing the 1st half ranked
36th of 39 teams, Team XX sets
the stage with 1st week win!

We won last night! Team XX (soon to be known by the less pornographic nom de guerre Dos Equis) actually won-- we took 38 (of 56) points. I think in all of the 1st half we won twice, and one of those was against No Team. This is a great way to go into the 2nd half! Yes, Virginia, bowling IS a team sport!

Mick joined us in his 2nd week as a regular sub and was 16 pins over average. Rick had a good night (609), 44 over; Tim was 21 over; Don and I were under. For my part, I was awful. But so was my opponent until the 3rd game. The bowling gods must truly be pitying me now.

I used the Epidemic for all 3 games. I hit the pocket quite a bit, but left way too many spares. (I guttered a 6-10 with the Spare, which was the cherry on top of last night's ugly bowling sundae.) I can remember a couple of good releases, but in general I was jagged. I probably should have switched to the Taboo somewhere along the way, but I resisted. I was defiant. Was, that is.

Now I am. I am Defiant. The new Roto Grip Defiant showed up on my doorstep last night. I am anxious to get it drilled out and onto the lanes! I've never used a Roto Grip ball before (by the way, it arrived in a Storm box and my wife looked at me askance, as is her custom, as if I'd ordered another ball). If I can get it into the pro shop this afternoon, maybe I can practice with it tomorrow morning and debut it on Tuesday night. (And speaking of the pro shop, the guy who runs it was bowling against us last night and struggled-- he's a good 200+ bowler that was, frankly, having a night like mine; I now see my slump in a different light.)

So now I have a 4-ball "arsenal" (funny word, arsenal-- you know, I've never had an arsenal of anything before...balls, weapons, whatever). And a 3-ball bag. It's the story of my life.

When you're done here, jump on over to my buddy Matt's blog and check out this post about bowling arsenals. I leave you with this question to ponder: How many bowling balls does it really take to become a regular, consistently good bowler?

I am Defiant.

P.S. On the Roto Grip website I noted that one of their ball reviewers with a 223 average shot a 300 using the Defiant for only the second time. My math's not perfect, but doesn't this mean that I-- a lowly 176 Tuesday bowler-- should be able to shoot a 253 the second time around? (God, I hope so.)

The Definition of Insanity

2012-01-04T08:55:00.001-06:00

The following is an excerpt from a July 2009 blog post by Ryan Howes, Ph.D. What does it have to do with bowling? I've underlined the answer.

I hear this every week, sometimes twice a day: "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results." No, it isn't.

To be clear, insanity is a legal term pertaining to a defendant's ability to determine right from wrong when a crime is committed. Here's the first sentence of law.com's lengthy definition:

Insanity. n. mental illness of such a severe nature that a person cannot distinguish fantasy from reality, cannot conduct her/his affairs due to psychosis, or is subject to uncontrollable impulsive behavior.

Insanity is a concept discussed in court to help distinguish guilt from innocence. It's informed by mental health professionals, but the term today is primarily legal, not psychological. There's no "insane" diagnosis listed in the DSM [Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders]. There's no "nervous breakdown" either, but that's another blog.

Where did this saying come from? It's attributed to Albert Einstein (probably not), Benjamin Franklin (probably not), Mark Twain (probably not) and mystery writer Rita Mae Brown (probably so) who used it in her novel Sudden Death. It's not clear who said it first, but according to at least one blogger it's "the dumbest thing a smart person ever said." The catchy saying has gathered steam in the past few years, and regardless of the source, it's gotten a lot of mileage.

How much longer can I go on pretending to be (at best) a 180 bowler? Since summer bowling, I have been deluding myself; I was convinced that I could finish a 100-game league with a 190 or better average. I believed that I could actually help, rather than hurt, a team. I was so delusional that I joined a second full league. I really was sure I was up to the challenge of two nights of bowling each week.

The delusional bowler in me is losing the fight. The reality is that I am unable to produce on the lanes. I have bowled under average, sometimes egregiously (more than 100 pins under for 2 weeks in a row last month). I lost 9 pins of average in the last 9 weeks of the 1st half. I'm at the point now where I show up to league night expecting that the same à la carte mistakes will occur (split in the 9th, open 10th, missed 10-pin, chopped 3-6-10, etc.). Where is the delusional bowler that showed up on October 25 with a rising 185 avg.?

Well, enough about me... sort of...

Last night we, The Bowling Stones, lost the 1st game by 1 pin. I was 35 pins under average that game. Once, again, I have to take the blame (yes, yes, I know bowling is a team sport-- it's tattooed indelibly on my soul's backside). Once again.

The good news (surprise!) is that we, The Bowling Stones, won in our first competition of the 2nd half. We took 3 of 4 games for 6 points. Tim and Garland had solid 500 series and with our 175 pins of handicap per game advantage, it was like we had an extra bowler. But we were barely functional with a 154 pbpg avg. (compared to the other team's 181 on an off night and with one blind bowler, to boot). We were fortunate to come away with a win.

A few lanes to the west, HCLC ex-pat Matt continued to bowl well. He has raised his average 10 pins in the last 10 weeks! (He's now at 173, and at the rate he's going, he's going to overtake me by the end of this month...)

Sorry, kiddies. There is no moral to this story. And maybe they'll all live happily ever after...

It's just not looking good right now.

X Factor

2011-12-30T18:34:00.000-06:00

I bowled alone today, 7 or 8 games. I experimented with some radical (for me) changes in stance, approach, and delivery. I can't say that any one thing worked better than what I have been doing (stinkin' up the lanes), but here and there a few changes seemed to help.

I finished the last 2 games standing on the approach about a shoe length's distance behind the front dot on board 35, almost in between the two rows of dots. I tried to start off with the ball cupped and held lower, knees bent (it's painful for me-- bad left knee), and then set off to deliver with one short step followed by a walking 3 steps. I tried to place the ball just over the foul line, between the foul line dots and the row of dots before the arrows, in between the 1st and 2nd ones. And I tried to keep my head down. The immediately noticeable change was that my tendency to loft the ball disappeared. Honestly, I don't know if I was any more accurate hitting the pocket (given the oily lane conditions).

So how to go about business on Tuesday night?

I really haven't got a clue. Guess I'll just have to see how the lanes are and see what works.

Tuesday, by the way, begins the 2nd half of the season (every team is in 1st place). A recap of the 1st half makes me just want to turn my head and cough. In 17 weeks I've had one 300 series (yikes!), four 400 series (hmmmm), and only a pair of 600s, ending at an average of 176.88 (an 8.29 drop in the last 9 weeks) (yikes!). What does all this mean? I'd don't rightly know, but by comparison to last year (after 17 weeks I had three 400 series and three 600 series, and an average of 178.88, a whoppin' 25.88 pins over my entering average), I'm REgressing, not PROgressing. And I'm becoming more and more discouraged with each practice and league night. And it seems to me that my stupidity has been red-lining more than usual.

Maybe the 2nd half will be better.

SOS

2011-12-29T13:50:00.000-06:00

Same Ol' Stupidity. Sigh.

Another practice, another few games of good shots interlaced with mistakes.

I bowled 5 with Carter and Mick this morning. A 148 in a 855 total kept me grounded and just under 180 (where I belong?-- the jury's still out on that one). And 4 of 5 games had open 1st frames; 3 out of 5 open 10ths. That 148 had 3 splits and 2 opens. Oy.

Maybe the next ball I get will be stupid-proof.

New year, new ball?

2011-12-28T20:07:00.000-06:00

The Roto Grip Defiant debuts January 10, 2012.

It's coming to a blog near you.

Stay tuned.

Another practice.

2011-12-28T15:13:00.000-06:00

Bowled 6 with Mick this afternoon. For every good delivery, there was a missed 7 or 10 or split... Averaged under 175.

Meh.

A little bit o' practice yesterday.

2011-12-27T09:16:00.001-06:00

I rolled 5 games yesterday with Mick and his daughter. The first 3 were a mistake-filled 510 with the Taboo (I went 0-fer-5 on the 3-6-10). The last 2 games were better with the Epidemic-- a 216 (six-pack followed by an open 9th-- I missed the 5-pin with the Spare, for Pete's sake-- and a split in the 10th) and a 3-split 179. Strangely enough, I made all 3 or 4 of my 10-pin shots. Mick started to get a lot better near the end, but we ran out of beer and had to go...

I think I see 10 pins...

It was a good practice, a skosh over the requisite 180. The disco lighting was on and the screens were down, but we had the end pair where a few house lights were on. I was wearing a trial pair of multivision contacts (with my old ones, I had to have a pair of readers with me everywhere), so the pins were a little fuzzy.

I'm going to try and get back for practice a couple more times this week before school and leagues start up again next week.

(Now that I've doubled my vision, maybe I can double my scores! Wait...isn't that part of a Foreigner song?)

What does the red-breasted nuthatch...

2011-12-23T12:20:00.000-06:00

...have to do with bowling?

Absolutely nothing. But I'm softening this bowling post with lighter and cheerier news before filing my report from last night's league action. So indulge me...

I've not seen this little bird in my backyard ever. Looks kind of like a wren, which are pretty common in my neck of the woods. My aging bird book remarks that the RBN "irregularly winters in the southern U.S." If you like watching birds, check out the Cornell Lab of Ornithology website-- it's fantastic! And if you want data down to the block you live on about the visiting patterns of birds of any kind, you should check out the eBird site ("taking birding to the next level"). And if you really want to get in on the act, join Project FeederWatch-- I actually did today, motivated by the RBN I saw on my backyard fence this morning. Now on to bowling...

Team XX began the night 35th of 39 teams. We bowled the 37th place team, which had only 2 bowlers in the first game-- we won that one by forfeit. A third showed up for the remaining 2 games, so we bowled those for points. It turns out that we ended up with 38 on the night (Tim and I actually took 8 apiece). Only Tim bowled over average; Damon was out again (we had Victor as his sub-- he took 6 points). It was a rough night for Rick, Don was slightly under par, and for me it was the same ol' shit. I ended the first half with a disappointing 512 series and an even more disappointing 172 average.

I'm glad we have a week off.

The Bowling Stones won last night...

2011-12-21T07:30:00.001-06:00

...but it was, as it has been for the month of December, U-G-L-Y (you ain't got no alibi). The entire team has been folding in on itself each of the last 3 weeks. Thankfully, this was Week 17 and the first half is over. We were once a team near the top of the standings; we were 19 of 29 teams going into last night's action. (But we took 6 points...)

Over the last 3 weeks we have had a pbpg avg. of 148, which translates into a 445 average series. I seem to be the chief demon in all of this-- my bowling has been abhorrent for longer than just these past 3 weeks. In the last 9 games, I've averaged 153. In the last 9 weeks, I've dropped 8 pins in average (in stark contrast to our ex-HCLC temmate Matt, who has gained almost 10 pins over the same timeframe!). I was actually better of by a couple of pins at this time last year-- and I finished the season with a 177. My current progress doesn't bode well, does it?

Lately, 10-pins have been my Achilles' heel. Last night I think I had 10 and I missed 8 of them! That's quite a chunk of potential score; I finished with a 519-- those missed 10s cost me a good 80 pins.

So what gives? I don't know. It's bowling, I guess.

And there's still another 17 weeks ahead to try and mend some fences.

(I keep telling myself it's got to get better.)

Stupid practice.

2011-12-17T14:42:00.002-06:00

What I mean is, I practiced my own unique brand of stupid this morning in a 6-game session with Mick and his visiting son-in-law. I rolled the first 2 games with the Epidemic-- a 169 (a missed 2-7, a missed 10-pin, and an 8th frame 2-10) followed by a mistake-filled 150. The remaining 4 games with the Taboo were a helluva lot better-- 184, 224, 196, 195. I threw a lot of strikes with the Taboo, and I made more than half of the 10-pins (and there were a lot!). So I was in the 185-190 range with both balls, and about 200 with the Taboo. Considering the easy spares I missed (one of those 190s games ended with a 9- in the last 3 frames-- how pathetic is that?), I guess I bowled okay.

Eh. It's practice.

Stupid only counts in league.

The Three Caballeros

2011-12-15T20:45:00.001-06:00

Rick, Tim, and I were the only bowlers in a series against No Team. So we were the only 3 bowlers on lanes 37 & 38. We were done before 8:30pm (woo-hoo!). With 2 blind bowlers, we took 38 points. We're better when we don't have actual, human bowler competition!

The pbpg avg. between the 3 of us was 186... Not too shabby. I choked in the 2nd game, but eked out a 566 series... Fair to middling, no legitimate complaints... I just got stupid in the 2nd, that's all.

So. One more week of the 1st half. Another chance to up my Thursday average a pin or two. (I think my Tuesday and Thursday averages have conspired to meet at 175...) Another 33 weeks of bowling looms on the horizon!

The Father of Bowling Psychology

2011-12-15T08:02:00.001-06:00

Ha! Bet that you don't know who, according to one website, "is revered as the authority on psychology in bowling?" (No, it's not me-- I'm nothing more than bowling psychology's mentally deficient laboratory rat.) He has written much on the subject, but the following excerpt comes from a treatise of sorts on what he refers to as the competition cycle ("each shot, game, block, and tournament can be viewed as a cycle of experience [that can be] broken down into several stages or steps"). This is the last phase of "the shot cycle":

Phase Four is the clearing and recovery phase. In this step you follow the laws of nature which demand rest and recovery before gearing up for maximum efforts. This is a time for cutting off living in your emotions and reactions from the last phase. You may decide what you want to hang on to in terms of learning from the last shot, then shake off any lingering emotional residue and catch a moment of rest. No matter what happened you say to yourself, "That's what. So what. Now what."

This step might be the equivalent of a weight lifter letting go of the bar completely before preparing for the next set. Another example is the brief mental break a golfer can take while walking to the ball. Although it is important to be aware of the lay of the land, a golfer can exhale after a shot in order to finish the reaction phase, start walking, then gear up into the planning phase again. The same sequence occurs for baseball batters, quarterbacks, free throw shooters, and men asking women out on a date. Where there is a game to be played this familiar cycle will likely appear.

Hmmm. "You may decide what you want to hang on to in terms of learning from the last shot, then shake off any lingering emotional residue and catch a moment of rest. No matter what happened you say to yourself, 'That's what. So what. Now what.'" Hmmm.

The Father of Bowling Psychology is Dr. Dean Hinitz, who practices (and bowls on Wednesday nights, according to his official website) in Reno. Maybe I need to get some couch time in his office.

Just how long IS the drive from Arlington to Reno?

(That's what. So what. It's Thursday. Now what?)

Kudos to 900 Global!

2011-12-14T16:56:00.003-06:00

To Eric and the rest of the crew at 900 Global: You guys rock!

I received a nice response from Eric regarding my broken bowling ball bag (which, now that I think on it, probably would have been a most appropriate accessory to complement my broken bowling). He says he's sending me another bag. That's not only nice, but good business. I will very seriously consider 900 Global equipment before my next purchase.

Just wanted to pass it along...

(Still haven't heard diddly from Sports Illustrated or Hammer, but I DID hear back from the ITC...more on that as the storyline develops...)

Matt's first 600 series!

2011-12-14T06:57:00.000-06:00

My summer doubles partner and Team HCLC expat, Matt, had his BREAKOUT night last night-- a 649 series! And a 268 high game! A whoppin' 143 pins over average! Way to go, brother! (He also added 3 pins to his average and is now over 170... I expect I'll meet him soon on the way down as he continues his ascent to bowling glory... Read on...)

You say it can't get any worse? Well, don't say that. Ever again. Because it CAN get worse. And it did.

Let's see... Where to begin... With the good, the bad, or the downright ugly?

How about the good. Debbie upped her averaged a couple of pins with a nice 187 game and series in the mid-400s (80 pins over average for the night). Hubby Garland was a few pins over his average with a 502 series (at least someone on the team made it to 500...you can feel the bad coming, can't you?).

The bad. We got skunked again. Tim was 39 pins under average. We lost by 457 pins scratch. And we had 61 pins of handicap... Ready for the ugly? (A week ago, I'd have walked away from blogging and bowling. Today, I'm just gonna suck it up, nurse the bad bowling hangover, and keep repeating to myself that you can't go back.)

In an encore performance of whatever it was I did on the lanes last week (something objectionable that appears to be bowling-like), I was only 6 pins better than that pathetic record-breaking series this week. Matt had his breakout night, I had another BREAKAWAY night-- 101 pins under (normally that would be worthy of an exclamation point...not anymore); my Tuesday average is dropping fast (8 pins since a 185 on October 18). But wait! There's more ugly, sportsfans.

As you know, last week I had my worst Tuesday night series this season. Not to be outdone, Mick (who appears to be suffering from the same curse that's on me) followed suit to the tune of 90 pins under. Our team had a 146 per bowler per game average (which Debbie jacked up with her good night). Man.

I haven't slumped this bad since the beginning of the 2008-09 season.

And I thought we were off this next Tuesday, but that's the actual last week of the brackets, so we-- The Bowling Stones-- will bowl for...um...fun?

Yeah, right.

We're bowling for damage control. To stop the bleeding. To try and have a good night for once... Not a breakout night, just a good night. A Good Night. It's been a month and a half since I bowled worth a damn on Tuesday night; for Mick, over 2 months.

A Good Night.

P.S. The quote of the night came from Garland, directed at me after I missed what was probably the dozenth 10-pin (I didn't make one all night): "You need to learn how to throw a straight ball." That cracked me up because I spent 3 years trying to learn how to throw a hook...

Your Tuesday bowling devotional...

2011-12-13T09:07:00.003-06:00

...comes courtesy of Jason Thomas in his post yesterday to pba.com. (If you didn't see the PBA telecast on ESPN this past Sunday, watch the video.)

Two of the gentlemanliest (it ought to be a word) professional bowlers are Norm Duke and Jack Jurek. Tears from anyone else might raise suspicion (well, Hess' tears were real last year; when he beat Jurek I just about cried with him).

I'm hoping for a BETTER night tonight than I had last Tuesday...

So hi ho, hi ho, it's off to bowl I go...

Okay. I'm back.

2011-12-10T10:26:00.001-06:00

I can't paint, I can't sing, I'm a horrible poet, and my wife and daughters have more than once referred to me as a fashion mistake. So the only viable outlet I have for expressing myself is this blog. Hiatus over.

In all my years of bowling (ha!) I have never become so despondent as I did last Tuesday night. I can't really explain why, other than I'm really not that bad of a bowler. I became so disgusted with myself for once again allowing the mental game to victimize me that I was ready-- seriously-- to find another pastime (I mean, really...my 430 started out with 3 or 4 strikes in a row in the first game before the bottom dropped out of the entire series). However, on Thursday night I was looking over the recap sheet while I was eating in the bar before bowling and I noted the averages in this league of, perhaps, 200 bowlers, and it dawned on me that I'm really no better or worse than the majority; in fact, I average better than a lot of them. I guess that in the quiet of the bar (and it really is quiet before league starts) I got a better grip on my place in the bowling universe. And there's nothing in life I like as much (and that can irritate me SO much) as bowling.

So. From the bar to the lanes. In stark contrast to the marathon games on Tuesday night, there were only 3 of us on Thursday-- we bowled faster and (maybe consequently) I bowled better. A mistake-riddled 574 series (2 games with dead 10ths, 2 with splits in the 8th, the usual culprits) shot entirely with the Taboo brothers. I was in the window. Nothing phenomenal, but it's always nice to not be a team liability. And without meaning to sound pretentious, that's about an average night for a guy like me. Shoulda been better. Shoulda, coulda, woulda.

In other news, my December issue of Bowlers Journal International showed up a day or two ago and Lo and Behold! right there on page 15 is a plug for a 3-ball bowling bag called the "Airline Delux" from 900 Global. Since I've become a 3-ball man, I asked my wife for a 3-ball bag for my birthday last month-- I saw this one on sale at bowling.com. And she got it for me. In the first week I had it, one of the only 2 plastic fasteners on it holding the top to the bottom broke. I took a picture (shown) and sent it with the following note to 900 Global:

Hello from Arlington, TX. I purchased the 900 Global 3-Ball Airline with Shoe Compartment (Product #GB13-02-13) in November and used it for about a week before one of the plastic clasps broke. I am a house league bowler who was looking for a more manageable 3-ball bag and liked the design of yours. However, I initially found it cumbersome, with only two plastic clasps to hold the shoe compartment to the ball bag. Maybe this bag was meant only for air travel... Whatever it was meant for (say, toting 3 balls, shoes, and other stuff to and from bowling centers), I have to say that I am disappointed with my purchase from you.

Attached is a picture of the broken clasp (well, the broken part is, as you can see, missing-- and it broke in two places, so it was unfixable).

I don't know if I would buy from 900 Global again in the future.

Very sincerely...

And on Wednesday I bought a much better bag, an Ebonite Transport III, from our pro shop (at a competitive discount, I might add). This time I sent in the warranty card.

Also in the current issue of BJI is a Sports Illustrated - Bowling factoid: On March 28, 1955, Steve Nagy appeared on the cover (Nagy was the first to bowl a perfect game on national television), the only time a bowler has been featured. I mention this because, while I really do like SI, I'm somewhat disgruntled by the fact that they (and our local newspaper, the Star-Telegram) seem to ignore bowling of any kind (amateur or pro). (Perhaps you remember my rant about this last March...)

I still think it would be a cool job to be the bowling beat reporter for SI-- you know, maybe become the Austin Murphy (if you don't get SI, then you're missing out on this guy's writing!) of the lanes. Maybe one of the three of you that reads this blog knows somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody at SI that can hook me up. Or maybe at Hammer (I'm willing to be their poster-boy for amateurs all over the world). Or maybe at 900 Global (will they care that I-- the inglorious blogging Thumbhole-- is dissatisfied with one of their products?).

And, speaking of jobs, my brother-in-law came across this interesting sounding one on monster.com at the International Bowling Campus (near Rangers Ballpark here in Arlington, practically down the street from me): Education Sales Manager, "a fantastic opportunity to grow youth bowling and make a huge contribution to our sport by growing the use of bowling within schools and increasing bowling programs across the country." I looked it over and decided I would be perfect for such a job. Whether I actually applied or not remains a secret.

There. I'm back and I feel much better!

And looking forward to both league nights next week...

Last week of the 1st half, so no pressure.

No pressure.

No pressu

No pres

No

(pop!)

It's time to stand down.

2011-12-06T22:21:00.001-06:00

I'm very dissatisfied with my lack of progression so far this season.

After bottoming out tonight-- setting a record low Tuesday night series-- I've decided it's time to walk away from this blog for a while. I can no longer write about something I'm struggling with; lately my posts about me and my team(s) reflect discouragement rather than hope and encouragement and...well...enough is enough.

The Bowling Stones, once hovering near 1st place, tanked in the play-off brackets tonight. Next week we'll play another losing team in a consolation match, but for all intents and purposes, the 1st half of the season is over. The 2nd half begins on January 3, after a week off for Christmas.

Tonight's 3 games took over 3 hours to finish, in part due to a pinsetter malfunction, but due mostly to slow bowling by 10 people, not a single one of whom could manage to break 500. It was one of the ugliest bowling experiences I've ever had.

So I'm departing the blogosphere. Going to go on hiatus. I'll return if and when I have something positive to post about my bowling, which RIGHT NOW is in a bad place.

I will still record scores and keep stats updated, so even though I may not be at the helm, the links on my blog will stay active. I leave you with a 179 avg. on Tuesday night and a 170 on Thursday night.

When I return-- and, hopefully, I will-- it will be with good news.

Until we meet again, thanks for hanging with me...

Russian?! What the...

2011-12-06T06:44:00.001-06:00

No, you weren't hallucinating if you saw a Russian language post here briefly yesterday. Blogger lists all blogs on sign-in (I wish it didn't), and I thought I was updating my Russian classes blog-- I accidentally posted here...

I took my coupons to the lanes for some practice yesterday afternoon. I was better with the Taboo (high game 216) and after missing the 10 and 7 in the first game, I was error-free with the Spare over 5 games. Splits cost me better scores, but I think I came out a little over average.

I'm going in with the Taboo tonight. I've been waiting a LONG time for the breakout series everyone around me seems to be getting (and more than once I'm noticing). I have no great expectations for tonight; however, a solid 600 series would be a welcome addition to the ol' recap.

Только боги боулинга совершенно знают что будет. (Only the bowling gods know for sure.)

Save Bowling!

2011-12-03T09:02:00.001-06:00

[Hammer, can you hear me?]

Check out this short video made by the folks at Hammer, who have taken upon themselves the noble cause of putting the bowling back in bowling. I've taken up a similar personal campaign to put the bowling back in my bowling (with my trio arsenal, balls manufactured by you, Hammer-- can you hear me?)...

Then. Visit savebowling.com and sign on to support the eradication of disco bowling (okay, there's more to it than that-- but that's my primary motivation).

Get on board. It's the right thing to do.

Next worthy cause, Hammer? Back an amateur who will help promote your products line-- there are more amateurs than pros. Rotogrip is already doing this. Visit Gutter to Glory, an excellent blog authored by a Rotogrip protégé...

Hammer, can you hear me?

Bowling Math 3

2011-12-02T06:26:00.001-06:00

Well, I scaled the trellis, jimmied the latch, and went through the window...last night I finished with a 568 series (2 dead 10ths probably cost me a 600). At least I didn't lose this series in the curve (as if that first metaphor wasn't bad enough...), as has become my custom of late. My "crappy" game was a 180 (which is borderline acceptable). I didn't bowl well, but I bowled better. I stayed with the Epidemic all night, riding the oil from east to west (just about into the neighboring lane near the end of the 3rd game). This was my second-best series in this league over the last 14 weeks; I guess for Thursday night, I did okay. And even pulled my average out of the 160s quicksand to a 170 (narrowing the span between my Tuesday and Thursday averages to 11 pins).

It was position round night, so imagine my surprise when I saw on the recap that Team XX was not (I repeat NOT) in last place for the first time ever. We were 17 points ahead of the new last place team when we started bowling...

...but we gave up 32 (of 56) points, so we're back to the bottom. Amazingly, we picked up only 24 points with a pbpg avg.of 200 (but we gave up 37 pins in handicap). We took a game and total pins, but we lost. It's that Bowling Math. (man, I need a tutor.)

Rick had a breakout 246 game and a nifty 630 series, Don shot a 691, and Tim finished with a nice 515. Overall, it was a good team night.

And, sadly, it looks like we may lose one of our better bowlers, Damon (who was blind last night)... Mick may fill the vacancy for a few weeks once the 2nd half starts after the holidays.

Hopefully, over the 2nd half of the season, that climb into the 550-650 window (I know, it's hard to believe that the trellis didn't buckle under me...) won't be so daunting on Thursday nights.

Bowling Math 2

2011-11-30T06:54:00.001-06:00

I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but I do know that when two teams bowl against each other and one of them has an advantage of 112 pins...well, it's not entirely an advantage. This was the (yawn) case again last night for The Bowling Stones. We got shellacked.

The numbers don't lie. Team A (us) has an average of just over 160 (per bowler) and comes up 51 pins short. Team B (them-- who, by the way, included HCLC B Team ex-pat Matt) has an average of almost 190 and ends up 19 pins over. Every bowler on my team came in under average. It was a rout from the GIT-go.

Maybe by saying this I will come off as pretentious (if so, forgive me!), but an acceptable night in bowling for me ends with a series that falls in the 550-650 window. (A great night, of course, would be something over 650, which is still in the dream stages for me.) Over these first 14 weeks of Tuesday league, I have been in the less-than-satisfactory-but-really-i-suck zone (sub-550) for 8 of them! (And don't EVEN get me started on my stellar Thursday night performances, where I've been under 550 for 11 out of 13 weeks.)

Last night I opened with the Hammer Epidemic and stayed with it over the first 2 games, riding the oil ever so slowly leeward. Even with crappy endgames in both, I managed scores in the 190s. At the start of the 3rd game, I switched to the Hammer Taboo. What a mistake. Halfway through, I went back to the Epidemic and ended with open 9th and 10th frames...and a sad 152. Even Mick chided me over my 3rd game switch. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

To close on a positive note, at least (and I mean AT LEAST) I didn't single-handedly cause last night's team nosedive. I was actually only (!) 5 pins under, which shaved about a tenth of a pin off my average; however, I dropped a whole pin on paper.

It's that newfangled Bowling Math.

(Maybe I need a tutor.)

Bowling Math

2011-11-28T17:19:00.001-06:00

Say I practiced with the Taboo today and had a couple of nice games with it...say, a 225 (with a dead 8th) and a 202 (2 splits). Say I practiced with the Epidemic today and rolled a nice 257 game.

Say I decided to use both balls in 3 games... Should be able to expect scores in the 220-230 range, right?

Wrong-o. Trying to use one ball to compensate for perceived weaknesses with the other was a mistake. Throw in incredibly bad spare shooting with the Taboo Spare and you have yourself a trio of 140-150 games.

So. I was up and I was down; however, I left the lanes feeling confident with both balls (yeah, I get it...ha ha).

For today.

What about tomorrow?

(i never really was good at math)

DVR Alert

2011-11-28T10:40:00.001-06:00

Next Sunday begins the 2011-12 PBA tour broadcasts on ESPN. Here's an informative post by Jason Thomas at pba.com about World Series of Bowling storylines to watch for.

The action starts next Sunday at noon (CT). In the meantime, check out the Jason Thomas video teaser.

A better practice.

2011-11-26T11:28:00.001-06:00

[disco bowling-- just can't support it]

Carter and I bowled a few games this morning... I got there before him and bowled one with the Taboo; we bowled 3.7 games before they turned the house lights down and the disco lights (and music) up. In that last game I ended up with a 192 (they turned the lights off just as I was going into the 8th frame delivery!). It was not even 11am! And there were probably less than 10 people bowling, none of whom likely wanted to bowl in the dark...

Besides that 192, I had 2 games over 200 and 2 164s (7th, 8th & 9th frames open in one, a 9th frame split followed by a chopped 6-10 in the other)-- about a 190 avg. over 5 games. I actually handled both balls (Taboo and Epidemic) better today than over the last 2 weeks of league.

Carter bowled better, too-- I think he said he averaged in the high 170s.

I'd probably still be bowling right now if disco bowling wasn't being offered to a near-empty house.

Anyway. Practice felt good, so...

I shall pin my hopes (again) on Tuesday night.

I am 49 today...

2011-11-25T16:14:00.001-06:00

...for those of you keeping score at home. It's been a nice day! My wife and daughters abandoned me for Black Friday ops, so I got in a lot of online Scrabble. And I'm still out of school until Monday.

When the family returned, I got a much needed birthday gift-- a 3-ball bag (pictured). Now I can look the part, even if I can't bowl for beans.

Anyway. It's been a good Thanksgiving break... Lots of family over yesterday, lots of free ALONE time today (I even finished another USBC certification online-- I'm now Team Coach certified-- my second; I finished Level 1 coaching certification last week... I'm going to go after Bronze Level certification next, but it's a lot more involved).

I almost went bowling today.

Maybe tomorrow.

Maybe not.

I may just stay on this mini-sabbatical until Tuesday.

As for 49 years... No regrets. Well, maybe just one. I wish I hadn't waited until my 40s to start bowling...

Nah. No regrets. :)

The John Wayne Rule needs a poster-boy.

2011-11-22T22:36:00.001-06:00

And I am he.

It's been 2 weeks since I've bowled worth a shit in either league. Tonight was my 3rd worst showing of this season on Tuesday night. I bowled STUPID in the 2nd game-- 59 pins under average, which cost my team at least 1 game. I'm still barely hanging on to a much undeserved 182 average.

The Bowling Stones, 8 points out of 1st place, took the 1st game by 53 points. I had a so-so 194 game. We lost the 2nd by 94 pins because of me. We won the 3rd game by 4 pins (I had another so-so game-- 192). We lost total pins by 35 BECAUSE OF ME. I know bowling is a team sport, but when you suck as bad as I did in the 2nd game, there's really no one else to blame.

So we split the series.

I wonder what it's like to bowl to potential. I see (or read about) all these other bowlers having breakout nights, yet I continue to make the same costly mistakes that negate any strikes I'm able to manage. I missed about 90% of my 10-pin spares tonight; in fact, I made a public mockery of the Taboo Spare ball.

I'm bummed out about how badly I'm bowling.

Maybe next week will be better.

Maybe.

The John Wayne Rule

2011-11-22T13:43:00.001-06:00

[Ol' Ball Coach, turn away, for I have practiced and practiced some more.]

I rolled a few games this morning (what with my free games coupons and all) and used, mostly, my Epidemic. I got the Taboo polished for effect... Still can't deliver it worth a damn. I AGAIN averaged over 180, which is average. I am able, beyond any reasonable doubt, to get that Epidemic into the pocket over and over again. So, you may be asking yourself, why not a 200+ average? Well, you see, it's like this. It's The John Wayne Rule.

For every good few strikes I string together, I do something stupid to offset any success. Some of my more common acts of stupidity include (but are not confined to): after a good 4 or 5 deliveries, I turn my wrist or chuck the ball for a split; I miss simple, single-pin spares because I become complacent (or pissed-off) and don't shoot palm-up; I miss the mark; I am convinced that the 10-pin's only purpose in life is to ruin a good game in the 8th, 9th, or 10th frame.

Yesterday I practiced, as well. Just under a 190 average over 6 or 7 games with the Epidemic. Same story. My own stupidity keeps me from having a breakout game or series...

So tonight during league, I'm going to try not to be so stupid.

(But honestly? I really don't know if I can do it.)

I pulled the Epidemic from retirement...

2011-11-19T13:25:00.001-06:00

...well, actually, from behind the passenger seat in my truck. (Man, I need a 3-ball bag badly...)

I bowled a few with Mick this morning. The lanes were better than last week. I actually had a good practice. Nothing great. Just GOOD.

In light of whatever it is I've been doing on the lanes over the last few league nights (bowling with an itch I just can't scratch), clearly a change is needed. My work with the Taboo has been shoddy (I'm a helluva lot better with the Taboo Spare) at best.

So. I gave the Epidemic a few practice rolls and into Game 1 we went. It took me 3 trial and error frames to get my bearings (I haven't used that ball since August), then found a spot near board 15 (mark between the 1st and 2nd arrows) for 3 strikes. I ended on a 165.

Game 2 was also with the Epidemic. This was a good game! After opening with a 4-pack, I chucked the ball into the channel (why? i don't know), then spared. I missed the 9-pin (!) with the Spare, but finished with a 203.

I eked out a 180 in Game 3 (still with the Epidemic), which had 4 opens. I made the 3-6-7-10 in the 2nd with the Spare, but then missed the first 10-pin with it in the 3rd. THEN I missed an easy 2-4 with the Spare in the 8th. I was fortunate to have gotten the score I got.

After some success with the Epidemic, I used the Taboo in Game 4, starting from about board 35 (same mark). Four splits and a missed 7 and 10 for a 139. Boo hiss.

But I stayed with the Taboo in Game 5 for a 200. Only an open 2-10 split.

After 3 splits, I switched back to the Epidemic in the 5th frame of Game 6. Moved 4 or 5 boards left. Eked out a 182.

Game 7 was 90% clean-- I missed a 3-10 in the 6th-- for a 211. Most deliveries from about board 39, same mark.

As I reflect upon the positive from this practice session, I think I'm able to say with some confidence that I'm getting better at reading the lane conditions. I also think that my sub-200 games are 1% ability issues and 99% mental issues. I made some stupid mistakes that cost me 200 games this morning; however, I averaged average, about a 182. With all the fiddling around, I guess that's not too bad. (This doesn't include a last, solo game of 153 fraught with haste and mistakes; I should have stopped at 7 but we had 20 minutes of free practice left.)

I have decided to bring all 3 balls to league on Tuesday. I may be better with the Epidemic. Mick's take on all of this is that I shouldn't show up with 3 balls on Tuesday because "it'll give you too many options." Hmmm. He may be right, but we'll see.

They use the right ball, they found the right spot, they hit the right mark, and they lived happily ever after.

The End

P.S. Hammer, are you listening?

Here's to 26 more!

2011-11-18T05:53:00.001-06:00

I've somehow made it through 26 years with the same woman (whom I affectionately introduce on some occasions as "my first wife"). I question her taste in men. I would have divorced me long ago...

But in a world of very little commitment, very little trust, and very little forgiveness, I am blessed.

And not a day goes by that I forget it.

The tribal elders were right-- a marriage does get better as it lasts longer...

...and, no, no bowling tonight. :)

A question.

2011-11-17T22:16:00.001-06:00

If I have a crappy average, and I bowl that crappy average, did I have a crappy night? I'll let the experts debate that...

I shot a meager 520 tonight, but I took all 8 points (first time, I think). Last place Team XX took 32 of 56 points and will hopefully gain on the 7th place team, which is ahead by only 7 points.

It's been a hard week. (The Thursday night Businessmen League is off next week, so I'll be hitting the lanes for practice.)

Next up-- Tuesday night. I've got to do better!

Notoriety... Never a GOOD thing.

2011-11-17T05:38:00.001-06:00

So I'm lugging a big ol' box of bowling shirts (for the high schoolers' first day of competition) into the lanes yesterday afternoon around 3pm, no one's there, really, save an older couple dancing to some country song on their lane approach (you can't make some of this stuff up) and a gaggle of staff at the counter, one of whom is the GM. He sees me and immediately fires off "Heard you had a bad night last night."

Apparently they'd all heard. I asked the GM where he got his info, and he said "I get phone calls all the time about leagues, the lanes, and the bowlers the day after." And left it at that.

Maybe someone took note when in the middle of that 3rd game gone bad I let the ball go on a 6-10 spare and the sweeper came down and cleverly blocked my shot... I had to replace a head gasket yesterday. (Actually, the left lane had mechanical problems the entire time.)

Makes me wonder how tonight will go.

One of life's unpleasantries.

2011-11-16T07:34:00.001-06:00

Of the displeasures in my life, The Bad Bowling Hangover is near the top of an otherwise very short list. And, brothers and sisters, I have a humdinger of one this morning.

No, it has nothing to do with alcohol, but some of the side effects are the same-- regret for my unfettered stupidity, disbelief at my own poor judgment, and a night of bad decision-making. But I can't go back. What's done is done.

I had my 3rd worst series in this league last night, a 492, and in doing so lopped 2 pins off my average. Damn.

Mick no doubt feels the same way-- he had a season-low series last night. We-- The Bowling Stones-- had a can of whoop-donkey opened on us (and we had well over 150 pins of handicap!). We were swept by another 2nd place team, a good team that had a good night. In a way, we did it to ourselves (while we sort of came out with an near-par team scratch score, a 157 pbpg avg. doesn't get the job done)-- and once again I let my teammates down (see paragraph 2). And a loss of 8 points likely means a drop in the standings.

The night wasn't all gloom and doom for every Stoner; Garland upped his average 2 pins with a 539 series and Debbie went up a pin, missing a 400 series by just 1... And Tim was average.

I started out with the Taboo, moved around (a mistake from the git-go), and then after a crappy first game, shot a 200 2nd game (one of two with dead 10ths) using the Taboo Spare. In the last game I let indecision, irritation, and an overwhelming lack of confidence take control of me (by the way, I dreamt I met the devil last night-- no connection...at least I don't think so...it's for my therapist to decide) and changed balls and starting positions way too many times. In that final game, I was like a psychotic dancer with two mute and unwilling partners... It was ugly. I remember throwing one beautiful hook shot with the Taboo. And only one.

The worst part about my pitiful performance on the lanes last night is that I really thought I had figured a few things out during the past couple of practices. It's hard today for me not to feel like practice is a waste of time.

Yeah, I know. We all have bad games, bad series, bad slumps. So far, in just 12 weeks, I've had more than what seems to me to be a reasonable number of all three.

But like its alcoholic cousin, time is the only cure for The Bad Bowling Hangover. As it dissipates, I will reflect.

Perhaps a smarter man would take an oath of abstinence...

...which, they tell me, makes the heart grow fonder. ;)

Silly me.

2011-11-14T19:51:00.001-06:00

I figured that I could go back to the lanes today and replicate my success with the Taboo Spare... You know, a little confidence-building before tomorrow night.

I got there and encountered totally different lane conditions. The oil didn't allow for any break whatsoever. So I was on lanes 15 and 16, trying my hardest to get a strike with that Spare. I ended up with 3 games that were crap: 127, 147, 165. In the 3rd game, the ball was coming back with that rubbery goo on it, so much so that I asked to move lanes. And so much so that the chief tech John took my ball into the pro shop and put it on the scrubber for a couple of minutes.

I got moved to 5 and 6, where I finished out the 165 game. Disheartened, I grabbed the Taboo. And this is what happened: 212, 246, 207, 165, 167, 205, and 210 for a 201 avg. over 7 games. I lined up on about board 7 with a mark in between the 2nd and 3rd arrows, then moved left with the oil. By game 7 I was on board 27. The 160s games were, I think, a result of fatigue and/or stupidity. I bowled 10 games this afternoon.

So, the jury's out. Can I bowl? I just don't know. One thing works one day, the next day it's something different. What I DO know is that I'm getting better at playing the oil! And I think I'm a better bowler from the right side.

Tomorrow I'm going to start with the Taboo. In the warm-up time I'll see what the lanes are like and then go from there.

I'm hoping for a good Tuesday night!

Maybe the answer has been in my ball bag the entire time!

2011-11-12T14:17:00.001-06:00

Mick and I rolled 6 games this morning. He broke 200 once; for me it was the same old shit, different day. Splits and missed EASY single-pin spares. I was using both the Taboo and the Spare, moving all over, changing marks, nothing really worked.

Then our practice time was over and Mick left.

I decided to stay and practice some more. I shot a 165 in the first solo game, using the Taboo and screwing up, then the Spare for the last 3 frames, during which I struck out from a board 21 start and a mark between the 2nd and 3rd arrows. I'm sure at the end of that game the entire house could see the neon exclamation point blazing brightly over my head.

In the next 3 games, I averaged 230, shooting the same way with only the Taboo Spare. As I wrapped up the last game (244), I realized people were watching me-- some from the travelling league a few lanes down, but mostly the house league bowlers in there for practice. I gotta say I felt, um... conspicuous.

What does this mean? Well, maybe I need to lay off the tweener hooks and do what works best, which, for me, may be a ball that simply finds the pocket with little or no break.

Then, again, maybe those last 3 games were a fluke. Or I was just in a groove. Hmmm. I just don't think so.

On Tuesday I'm going to go with the Taboo Spare.

Maybe I'm on to something here?

Bad night.

2011-11-10T22:08:00.001-06:00

Four-fifths of last place Team XX performed poorly. The other fifth-- our anchor, Don-- broke 700 for the second time this season. The other four of us averaged a 478 series. It was not a good night.

Mick subbed tonight. It was his first experience with the Businessmen's League.

At least I didn't shave a pin off of my really crappy 168 average... I think I had about 4 good deliveries in all three games. I didn't keep my wrist straight (as one of the guys on the other team pointed out at the end of the series). I just suck on Thursday night.

I just suck.

One strike away!

2011-11-08T22:23:00.002-06:00

Where have we heard THAT before? "One strike away..." Ah, yes, the World Series. Where we heard it twice in Game 6. Dang Rangers!

Tonight, I heard it just once. Last ball in the 10th frame of the 3rd game. On 591 pins, a strike (well, 9 pins, actually) would have given me a 600 series. The ball slipped off my hand and rolled right into the channel. Pisser.

The 3rd game was a tough one. I was fortunate to have gotten over 590, really. Four out of the first five frames in the 3rd game were splits. It was a crappy end to an otherwise good night.

But so goeth Thumbhole, so goeth The Bowling Stones. We had a 170 pbpg avg. in Game 1; a 160 in Game 2; a 148 in Game 3. We did manage to take 6 out of 8 points tonight... And we were 8 points out of 1st place. A reliable source tells me that the 1st place team in our division got skunked tonight, so now we're only 2 points out...

In my first two games I had only one open frame in each. An open 10th in a 225 1st game and a missed 10-pin in the 2nd. The 3rd game was a mess. I was lucky that I eked out a 170.

I don't want to sound like I'm something that I'm not; however, I am not satisfied with a 591 series. Yes, I'm glad I made it that far tonight, but... Well, as the team doctor say, there's always next week.

For me, though, there's Thursday. Another chance to do better!

I'm ready.

The lanes were not responsive at all today...

2011-11-06T15:45:00.001-06:00

...so I adjusted. Really!

After a couple of games of limp deliveries that skidded into the pins, I finally (I'm a slow learner) moved around. A little to the left, a little to the right, up a half-step, back a half-step, do the hokey-pokey and you shake it all about...

Last Sunday during practice (and most of the time during both league nights this past week), I was just to the left of board 40 (left foot, red), trying to get the ball just to the left of the 2nd arrow. Once I got it figured out, I was a striking machine.

This morning I was getting really frustrated, especially because I was on the heels of yesterday's less than gratifying practice. Early on, from the red position, I threw 3 strikes, 2 of which snapped at the head pin for Brooklyns and the other I just sent up the middle to get the first down. After doing the pick-a-board boogie for 3 games, I though what the hell and I went way right (to board 4). The ball went way left. So I started the return journey left, ending up, at last, on board 21 (left foot, blue) delivering through the 1st and 2nd arrows. For the last 2 games, I was again (it's almost cliché now) a strike machine. I ended on a clean 225 (I made a 7th frame 2-10 split with my Taboo Spare ball!).

Throughout the practice, my spare ball did not fail me (I spent one game just shooting the 10 on the 1st ball); I hit just about all of my single-pin spares (not just corners) with it.

So what does this mean for Tuesday and Thursday? I don't rightly know, sportsfans. But I squeezed out any remaining confidence (not unlike the last bit of toothpaste out of the tube) and entered 2 singles and a doubles (again with the PBA guy from NC with a 240 avg.) in the upcoming virtual tournaments. Am I crazy? Yep.

What I do know, is that I learned a little more today about adjusting for lane conditions. (Really, though, for me it's probably just one more thing to forget-- honestly, I can feel my IQ drop as I walk into the lanes on league night...)

I may suck at bowling, but, for today, I know what I'm doing. Tomorrow's a whole different story altogether.

Yea verily, this sport doth vex me.

I am a mental midget.

2011-11-05T14:20:00.000-05:00

In 5 or 6 practice games today I may have thrown 4 or 5 good strike balls. I was a spare-shooting mess. I made one of about a gazillion 10-pins, missed the 7-pin 2 out of 2 times... (And the balls were coming back coated in that sticky black goo again.)

I practiced with Garland and Mick who were up and down; Garland was up to a 225 game and making more than a few strikes, Mick had a last game in the 190s. I broke 180 once (by 1 pin).

Last Sunday I practiced alone and felt better about my mechanics, particularly in my first-ball delivery. I may have to go back tomorrow and try, try again.

Practice today was awful. Man, this sport just frustrates me.

We didn't lose tonight!

2011-11-03T22:24:00.001-05:00

But we didn't win, either...

Last place Team XX bowled as a team for the first time in weeks. We were all there (at least for the 3rd game-- Damon was somewhere else during the first 2 games)... And we split the 56 points right down the middle.

For my part, I didn't suck. I wasn't great-- a 565 series (the 10th frame of the first 2 games were opens)-- but I contributed to the team effort after weeks of being The Team Liability. Rick and Don broke 600. Tim started out well, then fizzled. (And I was a 190 avg. over the last 6 games...not too bad of a week!)

I have to say that I really like our team! Everyone is different. I have a good time on Thursday nights, and I like watching our competition. There are some very, very good bowlers in this league.

The goal on Tuesday is to get over (and stay over) a 190 average. I wish I could say that was my Thursday goal also... If I can just get close to 180 in this Businessmen's League, I guess I'll be happy...

Depending on how the 7th place team did tonight, there's the possibility that we won't be in last place next week.

And if we all bowled to potential, we'd never be in last place again.

On to next week!

-------------

Never assume they'll know about Van Gogh...

2011-11-03T05:40:00.000-05:00

I teach AP English in high school (as well as Russian, let the record show). While this doesn't make me an expert on the English language (any more than bowling in a league twice a week makes me an expert on bowling), I do know that more effective writers try to suit their use of allusion to the intended audience (if I make a reference in my writing to something that I think everyone should be familiar with, but isn't, the allusion is wasted and the reader may become confused).

Tom Verducci's article about the World Series in this week's issue of Sports Illustrated is superbly written. Yet I wonder how many of SI's readers get the Van Gogh reference in the following excerpt?

In the first 106 World Series, 105 teams stood one strike away from the championship and eventually won it. The only exception was the 1986 Red Sox. In the 107th World Series, Washington's Rangers became the '86 Red Sox' fraternal twin. Texas somehow managed twice—in successive innings in Game 6—to slip on infamy's banana peel at the cruelest posssible moment, blowing two-run leads in the ninth and 10th innings before losing 10-9 in the 11th.

Opportunity, like a rolling die, is many sided, however. The double-dog dare that was Game 6 became one of glory for the champion Cardinals, the signature moment for a team that stood on the abyss so often over its last 50 games that it could paint the view from memory like Van Gogh could Aries. "It's fitting for this team to be remembered for that game," said St. Louis outfielder Allen Craig, who hit home runs to start the Game 6 rally and to break a third-inning tie in Game 7. "We played with our backs against the wall for like two months. Every game was like the playoffs just to get in. So to win it like this—after being one strike away from losing—is a fitting way to end our season."

The boldfaced (by me) line above is just an example of why I subscribe to this magazine! What a great metaphor! The entire season for the Rangers DID come down to that one slip, huh?

Anyway. Just wanted to share.

Now back to bowling. You can peek on on our progress in AMF's $700K National In-League Tournament by clicking the sidebar link (above Virtual Tournament Results).

Today is Thursday. Another night, another tournament...

I'll be back after the pinfall!

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It's not all about me.

2011-11-01T22:11:00.001-05:00

The 2nd place Bowling Stones bowled better as a team this week, averaging 165 per bowler per game. We took 6 points tonight and probably won't move into 1st place, but we'll likely only be 2-4 points out next week.

The big news of the night is Garland's series-- he missed a 600 by 3 pins!

As for me, I shot a 576 series, crapping out in the 3rd game. (It was tough to concentrate knowing Kim Kardashian has filed for divorce after being married for only 2 months...)

On the adjacent lanes, our HCLC ex-pat bowling brother Matt had a pair of 200 games for the first time ever. Way to go, Matt!

So as a team, we got the job done. I've bowled better, but (last week) I've bowled worse.

Much worse.

On to Thursday...

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Got the Taboo Spare ball and a sinus infection...

2011-10-31T20:19:00.000-05:00

...not in the same delivery; the ball was on my doorstep this afternoon, the sinus infection showed up last night. Both of them showed up rather quickly, too... Actually, I got the Spare 14 days after I mailed off my receipt to Hammer.

I also got my $240 from Virtual Tournaments. If you're reading this and you bowl, you really ought to get in on the action! (But don't shoot a 480 with a 185 avg. like I did last week...it's counter-productive.)

I'm going to stay home tomorrow from school, snooze, and, hopefully, make it to the lanes (I'm in deep in this week's virtual tournaments, both nights and a first-ever doubles entry-- we're Bowl2Win & Thumbhole on the entries page) early to drop off the Spare at the pro shop. After yesterday's practice, I'm still pumped-- and still feeling more confident. I just hope I feel better!

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One of the best practices I've ever had!

2011-10-30T15:24:00.001-05:00

Today after church, I drove over to the lanes and the parking lot was full. There were two tournaments going on inside, but the manager let me go down to lane 40 and practice all by myself. It was great! I bowled for almost 2 straight hours with no break. I think I bowled 10 games, but I don't even know for sure. I was after one thing and one thing only-- strike-shot muscle memory.

In the first 2 or 3 games I moved around to see if I could maneuver that Taboo into the pocket any better. I got lucky (ha!) once or twice, but when it came down to the reality of my style and the type of ball I use, I belong on/near board 40. The WRWJr DVD motivated me to go back to the basics, so I really tried to not force the ball or do anything crazy with my wrist.

Around the 4th or 5th game I finally figured out what worked with the Taboo. Board 40, cup the ball about waist-high, no wobble, let the ball fall on the push away, get low and stay behind the ball, get it in between the 2nd and 3rd arrows, follow through. I tried the WRWJr arm-up follow-through, but that just isn't comfortable (and it's just not me)... However, when I didn't finish a delivery by bringing my hand up, I was split-prone. Follow-through is necessary for the revs to keep the splits at bay.

I became a strike machine. In the last 4 or 5 games I effortlessly threw strikes. I wasn't really keeping score, but one game was in the 240s, and the rest were near or over 200. And, I was hot-- sweaty hot. One of the guys bowling in the seniors tournament is a friend of mine and he came down to 40 and said that some of the tournament bowlers had noticed I was sweating and were worried that I was working too hard. On a different day, I might have been working too hard. But not today. Anyone who knows me, knows that I'm hot all the time...

What really jumps out at me from bowling so many games today is the lack of fatigue, blister, or hand/arm strain. Once I got the position and delivery down, I was on auto-pilot (though I had to talk to myself after a few errant shots). I even worked on the 10-pin and made about 90% of them (I found an arrow and delivered more slowly, palm up).

So I think I may be in a better frame (pun intended) of mind for this week's league nights. In fact, I'm so confident that I can do better than a series in the 400s that I've not only entered both nights into this week's virtual tournament, I accepted an offer to enter this week's virtual doubles tournament, as well, from a guy I don't know in NC who has the following credentials posted on his profile on virtualtournaments.com: 2010 July High Roller Champion - Las Vegas, NV; 2007 Super Bud Bowl Champion - Oswego, NY; 35 - 300's (2 in PBA tournaments, 1 at 2009 Mini Eliminator); 18 - 800's (848). That's a lot of 300s, brothers and sisters. I've elected to use my Businessmen's scores (hell, if nothing else, I'll provide the handicap). Yeah, maybe I'm delusional (again). (Matt, are you reading this? You and I need to form a support group!)

Anyway. Big week ahead.

Today I convinced myself that I CAN do it. And I'm going to try-- really try, I promise-- to carry that confidence with me on Tuesday and Thursday night. I'm also going to try to do better at keeping my mental and emotional game in check.

Somewhere inside me is a good bowler crying to come out...

I just feel it. :)

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Got the WRWJr DVD today.

2011-10-29T18:28:00.004-05:00

It's really good... So far, they (Walter Ray and Mark Baker, "Coach to the Pros") have hauled a variety of bowlers in front of the camera, from 125 to 211. When I watch these videos, I realize just how screwed up my mechanics are! The top of the list is follow through, then keeping a straight wrist from back-swing to delivery, shooting the 10-pin (my most pronounced foible these past couple of weeks), and back leg position, among many other things that keep me from becoming a 200 bowler...

My wife and I are going out so I'll have to finish it later, but from what I've seen, every house bowler should watch this! (And, yes, I'm biased-- after all, it IS Walter Ray.)

I'm going back to the lanes tomorrow to practice some of this things. (Yes, I went with Mick for some practice games today, but it was the same old story, same old song and dance with me. It was very dissatisfying. Sigh.)

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A new dawn in Texas this morning...

2011-10-29T10:17:00.001-05:00

My meltdown on the lanes this week seems insignificant and inconsequential, really, compared to the Texas Rangers' performance in the World Series these past two nights. What a great season they had; and what a great let-down they suffered. Why? (The reality is that the entire season through Game 6 of the Series didn't matter one whit for either team in Game 7. Game 7 mattered, and the best team won.)

What fueled the Cardinals to perform so well, to get hot in September and stay hot until the end? Why caused an obviously good team like the Rangers to fizzle after a record season? How does a guy average 205 in 6 games one week, and then 153 in 6 games the next? I'm as frustrated with not knowing the answer as I am interested in trying to understand why it happens.

The book I ordered, Sports Psychology Library: Bowling, arrived yesterday. It has some great stuff in it that I'll share here and there over the next couple of weeks. Will it work for me? Who knows... I may be a lost cause on the lanes or, perhaps, there's a 700 series in me crying to come out. The first few pages got me to thinking about the game itself-- here's an excerpt:

As a competitive sport, bowling presents a truly demanding athletic challenge. Mental and physical precision, exceptional hand/ eye coordination, unwavering muscle memory, and endurance are all required for bowling skill. Consider that in any given tournament, a bowler walks four miles; lifts, swings, and releases four tons; and must deliver every ball within four-tenths of an inch of a selected mark in order to reach a target which is 60 feet away and only one and six-tenths inches wide.

Indeed, the challenges posed by bowling have been described as unique to all of sport. An elite bowler is confronted with a lane surface covered by a microscopic film of oil. To succeed, the athlete must correctly "read" the initial pattern through ball reaction and then continually adjust to constant changes in that surface as the oil moves (it's carried to different parts of the lane and/or absorbed by the ball covers). Due to the invisible frictional variance, the bowler must correctly choose from a wide variety of bowling balls with differing surface and balance characteristics, release every ball at an optimum angle, and make fine adjustments with respect to speed, rotation, and loft.

Sounds like a tough sport, huh?

Maybe I'm too hard on myself, you know, with the week-old new ball and all. I know that I can never measure up to my own expectations, much less yours (or my high schoolers, who think I'm a good bowler), so confidence and self-esteem issues lurk at the bottom of the swamp that's become my game over the last two league nights.

But the sun rose this morning on a cool, simply gorgeous Texas fall day. There is a tomorrow for me in bowling ("there's always next week" is the team doctor's mantra), and there is a tomorrow for the Texas Rangers, though they'll have to wait a few months for theirs.

I'm off to the lanes to get some much-needed practice in with Mick. Going with a cool head and an open heart. I'm going to try to let the ball do the work.

I'm going to try to get back on track.

:)

[A footnote: While the Rangers were fading in last night's game and I was pondering aloud "How can this happen? They're a good team!", my wife interjected (very unwife-like, I might add) that "they can't win ALL the time... You don't bowl a 600 series every time, do you?" Well, no. I don't. But WHY??!!! I'm apparently able to bowl over 600. What's working against me? (No, not bad breaks; there are no bad breaks in bowling, just bad bowling.) Am I some sort of mutant split-ability bowler who's good one night/game and bad the next? What is it?! Am I just the mental and confidence equivalent of a 90-lb. weakling? Do I even HAVE the potential to bowl beyond whatever my best has been so far? Why?! Why not?!]

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The cherry on the sundae...

2011-10-28T06:04:00.004-05:00

As the Rangers were choking and dying last night, I got an email from Virtual Tournaments. Seems I won a little more ($70.07), so now I'm back in the black for this year (barely). All together, that's $240 and some change for 2 weeks of tournament entries. Which just about pays for the new Taboo and Taboo Spare (however, I have yet to hear from Hammer on the latter).

Last night was a position round. Team XX remains in the same position. [I have deleted the comment that I made here earlier about my Thursday night team. I made it out of frustration and I take it back with apologies to anyone who read it; it was never meant to be derogatory, just tongue-in-cheek. We have a a team of good bowlers, at least one of which is struggling.]

I'm wrapping this up on little sleep (thanks to the Rangers), so if I sound crabby... Well, I am. [How can you be ONE STRIKE AWAY FROM WINNING THE WORLD SERIES TWICE IN ONE GAME and lose?!!!!]

It's Friday. I need a nap.

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A horrible week!

2011-10-27T21:23:00.001-05:00

As if Tuesday wasn't bad enough.

Tonight I opened a 441 series with a 105. In 10 frames, 7 were splits (6 major-- I converted the 3-10), I missed the 10-pin twice, and had a strike. Game 2 was not much better. I missed the 10, the 7, and had 5 opens in all. By the 3rd game, I felt nothing-- the pain and frustration of the week had dulled, dried, and started to flake away. I've bottomed out.

In 6 games this week I averaged a 153. Hard to believe, really. Especially on the heels of last week's 205 average.

And, like Tuesday, my shitty bowling cost the team tonight! We lost each game by only a handful of pins. It's just not a good feeling to know for a second league night in a row that I'm the weak link in the chain. And we gave up 40 of 56 points. It was a beating.

I don't know what's going on. I guess I'll just try to suck it up and move on.

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A clean ball is a happy ball.

2011-10-26T18:22:00.000-05:00

Took a "mental health" day off from school today. Got in some solo practice before the high schoolers showed up. I still suck. Sorrowfully and grievously. I started with a mistake-riddled 159, followed by a nice 226, followed by a 189... I think I chopped the 6 off the 6-10 four times. I gophered the 10-pin 3 times. I left a lot of splits.

While bowling with the kiddos, I don't think I ever left the 140s.

In a panic, I bought a bottle of Ebonite Powerhouse Energizer Ball Cleaner in the pro shop.

Woe is me.

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$700K AMF National In-League Tournament begins next week...

2011-10-26T12:50:00.003-05:00

All the details are at tournament.amf.com (which has been down for weeks...AMF is a corporation far from becoming a vanguard of technology). This is an annual AMF centers promotion that is a singles, pins-over-average tournament that runs from October through April. The first qualifying round is October 31 - January 22. The top 50 bowlers in each division (200+ avg., A -180-199, B- 160-179, C -159 and below) move on to the center finals in February.

In both of the leagues I am in, we voted to include the $3.00 entry fee each week as part of our league fees, so my teammates and I will be entered. I think we're placed by entering (book) average and mine is a 177 which would mean I have a fighting chance in division B.

On the other hand, if I bowl like...well, better to not think about what's been...

But I can STILL feel the mental contusions and abrasions I suffered on the lanes last night.

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2 steps forward, 5 leaps back.

2011-10-25T22:09:00.002-05:00

The Bowling Stones had sole possession of 2nd place before I stepped on the lanes tonight. On the same pair of lanes two weeks ago I had a season-high 632 series. Tonight I had a season-low 481. Just a night of bad bowling. I lost 3 pins in average (I was a total of 71 pins under average on the night). We took 2 points.

It was one of those long nights-- it took about 3 hours and 15 minutes to get through our games. When you're sucking as bad as I was, it seemed A LOT longer. Carter, in for Mick, had a good night-- a 554 series (and now has a 9-game 180 avg.), and Garland had a really good night: a 571 series.

All of my mistakes tonight were mental, and really stupid.

I can only hope that Thursday is better.

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I went shopping today.

2011-10-24T18:25:00.000-05:00

Bought myself a DVD and a book. When I'm a better bowler (mind you, I'm not referring to myself as "good"), I want to become more advanced in my bowling. I want to find out more about the psychology-- the mental game-- and learn the tricks of the trade that make pro bowlers, such as my all-time hero on the lanes WRWJr, seem so calm under pressure (Norm Duke exemplifies this). No, they don't all handle the mental game perfectly, but more often than not. When I suck, it's all I can do to not go get the B volume of the encyclopedia and look up "bowling." You know, what it is, how to do it, etc.

While I'm riding this 2-week high (197 avg. over 12 games), which may very well come to a screeching-broken-glass-jawsoflife-needed end tomorrow night, I feel compelled to continue my bowling professorship. So I bought a WRWJr instructional DVD (Bowling Faults and Fixes-- Lord knows I have plenty of the former and few of the latter!) and a book called Sport Psychology Library: Bowling by Eric Lasser, both on amazon.com. Will they help me? That remains to be seen. But, at least, I'm putting forth the effort to try and improve my game (before it heads south for the winter).

So I'm all-Taboo all week... Two virtual tournaments hang in the balance.

I know this will make me sound like an addict, but I don't want to stop! I want to keep forward motion. I really, really, really want to get my Tuesday average up over 190. And Thursday? I just don't want to be kicked off the team...

See you tomorrow after the pinfall!

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Ahhhh, the risks I take...

2011-10-22T10:15:00.000-05:00

"Hammer, can you hear me?"

Having just finished The Best Week I've Ever Bowled (coming soon as a Hallmark Channel made-for-tv movie, starring Nick Nolte as Thumbhole-- let's face it, after Bernie the Gorilla, it's the only offer he's got these days), I have cogitated a second or two over the hows and whys. I have no explanation other than my slump has become a streak (even if only short-lived). I could chalk up the two 600 series in two leagues in the same week to a new ball, but I used the Epidemic on Tuesday and the Taboo on Thursday ("Hammer, can you hear me?"-- by the way, that will be the movie's theme song to be sung by a The Who cover band). I don't know what's gotten into me, but I aim to capitalize on this mojo (if I still have it) in the coming week...

So. First things first. I made some money in the virtual tournament last week which almost paid for the new Taboo minus the drilling. I might make some more in this week's tournament; however, since I placed for money last week, the kind folks at virtualtournaments.com stripped me of my bonus pins, so I'm left dangling by handicap among the better bowlers. Anyway. So this morning I broke the news to my wife. "Honey, you know that bowling ball ad I showed you?" (duck) "You didn't buy it did you?" (cover) "Well, yes, but I..." (duck again) "...won some money to pay for it in last week's tournament." (cover) Pause. "I figured so, since you took the picture off the refrigerator." (exhale) "You won the money, so you can do what you want with it." (sun shining, birds singing, Sousa march playing) (but wait, there's always a final say-so) "Just don't get carried away now." (swallow, think, or don't think...) "I won't." (turn, smile, and walk away, ass intact)

Okay now. Like the Texas Rangers tonight, I gotta ride the wave. I have cautiously (well, not really) entered next week's virtual tournament... in both leagues!! I just had to (you understand, don't you?). The little man inside me was screaming "Do it!" "Do it!" "You're on a hot streak!" "Do it!" So I done it.

Win or lose, I'm making history-- I've never bet on myself twice in the same week.

And on both nights, I'm going to use the Taboo.

Lord, have mercy.

--------

O, Taboo!

2011-10-20T21:53:00.001-05:00

We, the cellar-dwelling Team XX, took 42 of 56 points tonight! We had a 1053 team scratch score in Game 2 (210 per bowler avg.) and a 1315 handicap score!

But the BIG news is that I shot a 612 with the new Taboo ball! Woo-hoo! Not a scrub series!! Finally, I contributed to the team!! I took 12 points! Woo-hoo!! Now I've got a rising crappy avg. (168), a boatload of handicap, and a lot more confidence going into next week...

Damon was blind tonight-- he's our ex-PBA guy-- and he swept his games... I was tempted to text him and tell him to stay home next week. ;)

I love that Taboo ball. And with the $170 I won in last week's virtual tournament, I can almost pay for it... I may come up with the remainder in this week's tournament.

What a week. I've averaged 205 in 6 league games.

Can't wait to use the Taboo on Tuesday!

P.S. Just to give you an idea of the type of league this Thursday Businessmen is, a team two lanes over shot a 1299 team scratch score (about a 260 per bowler avg.) in the 2nd game.

----------

Last night's game...

2011-10-20T06:55:00.002-05:00

No, not bowling. World Series. Am I the only one who noticed that Berkman's double last night was a one-bouncer foul ball (new stat abbreviation: RBIF - RBI on a foul ball)?!

I really, really wish that Tom Grieve (our regular season Fox Sports Southwest color commentator) was calling the Rangers' playoff games! Not a fan of the Joe Buck - Tim McCarver team (not to knock McCarver, the man's sports knowledge is encyclopaedic).

How can a game with so many umpires be called so poorly?

(just bummin' about last night)

We now return you to our regular programming.

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I'm in love....

2011-10-19T19:18:00.002-05:00

I might leave my wife for a bowling ball... :0

Andrew, our stalwart pro shop guy, handed me my new Hammer Taboo ball last night, but I didn't attempt even one practice delivery with it. (Carter about rubbed the cover stock off of it-- he kept stroking it for good luck.)

I took it with me to my high school practice session this afternoon and gave it a test drive. I bowled 2 games with it (and a few practice shots). It definitely moves more aggressively down the lane and snaps over more quickly than the Epidemic. I threw a lot of nice strikes with it, but I also left a lot of 10-pins. It's one SMOOTH drive, baby. I love it!

And I'm going to use this new ball tomorrow-- I mean, really; as bad as I am on Thursday night, what do I have to lose?

(Sent off the receipt to Hammer this morning for the free Taboo Spare ball... Can't wait to get it!)

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Another sweep for The Bowling Stones!

2011-10-18T22:09:00.001-05:00

The Bowling Stones entered tonight's action tied for 3rd place. We swept the competition for the 2nd week in a row!

Carter filled in for Tim and shot a 530 series. He's averaging 177 over 6 games. Not too shabby...

Debbie returned after surgery and bowled like a trooper-- I know she strained a little. But she contributed to what turned out to be a really good team night (a 163 pbpg avg.)!

In spite of the CHECK ENGINE light coming on briefly in the middle of the 2nd game, I broke 600 for the 2nd straight week. I've upped my Tuesday average to 185, which is now 21 pins over my pitiful Thursday night average. I've got to get over the mental hurdles on Thursday!!

(I even had some of my high school bowlers peeking in on me tonight.)

Onward to Thursday. How do you apply a mental tourniquet?

(And P.S.: I have the new Hammer Taboo, all drilled-out and ready to go... Going to try it at high school practice tomorrow...)

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Tuesday musings...

2011-10-18T09:56:00.000-05:00

You know you've made it when your name appears in an article in the biweekly Mansfield (TX) News-Mirror newspaper. We're taking baby steps, but we're getting high school bowling here (Arlington area) on the map.

Tonight is league night. It's Tuesday. I have momentum (not like Thursday-- on that night I have whatever the antonym of momentum is). And I entered my scores for tonight in this week's virtual tournament...because...

...I finished 2nd out of 48 bowlers in last week's tournament with my Tuesday series! I have momentum, I tell ya'. I should win some cash and should know just how much (enough to pay for the new Hammer Taboo I so thoughtlessly and selfishly ordered last week) on Friday.

But on Thursday, I'm still bad broken. sigh sigh sigh

And no, I have absolutely no idea what that image means... Other than a physics kid told me that the M means Momentum. Guess I'll put a large fruit in the bed of my truck before heading off to bowl this afternoon...

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:)

2011-10-15T22:42:00.002-05:00

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I continue to bowl poorly on Thursday night!

2011-10-13T22:04:00.000-05:00

In a battle of two divisional last-place teams, Team XX got hammered. Again. Tonight we took only 18 points.

I am simply of no use to this Thursday night team; my games are sloppy and my average is pathetic. Every week I'm a liability.

I am still at 164, still 17 pins under my Tuesday night average. Six out of 8 weeks I have had series in the 400s! Tonight, again, I barely made it over 500. I lost 6 points to a guy with a 151 average, for God's sake. It's just been an awful bowling experience for me over these first eight weeks.

Both teams had one blind; we needed to overcome 225 pins of handicap. We lost the 3rd game by 117 pins scratch. It was ugly.

The highlights: Don shot a 256 in the first game, and Tim picked up a 6-7-10 split in the second.

As for me? I'll just try again next week to bowl to my potential...

(I'm so tired of letting my team down every week.)

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It's been 83 days since I shot a 600 series...

2011-10-11T22:03:00.003-05:00

...July 20 was the last date I bowled a 600 series in league. Tonight I had a good night! A 632 series. Not great, but better than the crap I've been shooting lately. I've finally gotten my avg. over 180.

The 5th place Bowling Stones murdalized the competition tonight; we won by 226 pins scratch. We had a whoppin' 175 pbpg avg. (not including Debbie's blind scores)! And this was a series in which Garland and Tim were bowling with new balls.

Man, if I could only break 600 on Thursday night...

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Saturday musings...

2011-10-08T12:36:00.004-05:00

Among the indignities I suffered Thursday night was a strain to my hand (yes, from bowling poorly-- not as an excuse, as a fact; I never really had one delivery that felt good or effortless). So there was no practice bowling yesterday. And the way it feels now means I may not bowl on Tuesday night. I'll just have to wait and see. (Garland wanted to bowl this afternoon-- I had to decline.) Bummer, man.

This from the I Just Don't Know What to Make of This file (really it's the sequel to this post at the end of last month): Kelly Kulick (pictured left...ha!) has a quote on pba.com (in a post entitled "For Kelly Kulick, ESPN the Magazine 'Exposure' Is Good for Bowling") that is priceless: “I thought it would be done in good taste, so I thought it would bring great exposure to bowling and myself.” She got great exposure, alright... I'm not knocking Kelly-- I'm a big fan. But I'm not sure I would frame this image and hang it over my mantel. Quite frankly, the only word that pops to mind when I look at it is surreal. What's your opinion? (You can sneak a "peek" at the other atheletes featured in ESPN The Magazine's "Bodies We Want 2011" issue here.) (Psst! The Hope Solo one is my favorite!)

Ahhh, temptation. (Not a segue, unless YOU think so, potty mind.) Our pro shop guy, Andrew, baited the hook on Thursday night by showing me the new Hammer Taboo that debuted September 29. Hammer has a deal going on to get the new Hammer Taboo Spare ball for free with the purchase of the Taboo. I'm giving it some thought, but...but...I can't bowl worth a damn right now, so what good is a new ball? I just bought the Epidemic in August and it seems like I can get more splits with it than strikes...

But I'm still thinking about it. ;)

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Horrible night!

2011-10-06T22:36:00.000-05:00

If you're reading this and you bowl, a bad night for you is probably a game in the 150s or 160s, maybe even the 170s. You probably can't remember the last time you bowled a series under 450, can you? I can. It happened just a few hours ago.

I had a 419 series tonight. I lost 4 pins in average. There's now a 12-pin difference between my Tuesday and Thursday averages. I was awful tonight-- chopped spares, missed single pins, etc. I had maybe 5 or 6 strikes on the night.

After the 3rd frame of the first game, I had a feeling that tonight was going to end horrifically. The first frame was a major split. The second was a chopped 3-6. The third was an unmistakable bad omen-- I drove the ball right between the 3-10 split, not touching either pin. I knew then I was doomed.

So I suck. I'm a Thursday night team liability. Last-place XX gave up 30 points; I was the only bowler of ten that couldn't earn even 2. Tim didn't bowl well, either, but he took 4 points.

All I can offer my team now is handicap.

How pathetic.

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Comments problems...

2011-10-06T14:08:00.001-05:00

I removed the moderation from more recent posts. If I get more spam, I'll put it back on.

Also, there is a problem with posting comments. I think it's a Blogger - IE8 issue, but I tried to post a test comment in Chrome and it didn't work (sometimes it does).

I told the Blogger folks about it.

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Sweep!

2011-10-04T22:15:00.004-05:00

The 6th place Bowling Stones swept the competition tonight. It was a good team night, 1 pin shy of a 2500 scratch series. We were only 23 pins from a 3500 handicap series. With 8 points, we'll move into the thick of things next week.

As for me, I was fair-to-middling. I shot a mistake-riddled 558 series to up my avg. to 176; at least I've got an upward trend going. (I'm on the way to claiming that "Most Improved Bowler" award...)

Thursday is still more of a challenge... More about that on, well...Thursday!

-------------

Missed this week's VT noon Monday deadline...

2011-10-03T18:16:00.000-05:00

...but I just have a good feeling, so I went ahead and entered next week's virtual tournament.

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Thrasher!

2011-10-03T17:19:00.003-05:00

Have had a GREAT Monday today! Watching the Rangers and Rays... Saw a Thrasher in the back yard this afternoon (good sign)...

Practiced with Mick on Friday. Averaged a 175. Mick a 177. Not my best work, but a lot of nice strikes. Looking forward to tomorrow night... Going to register my Tuesday scores in this week's virtual tournament (I'm still pretty much a soup sandwich on Thursday)...

And, Matt, I've tried to comment on your blog... The comments don't take for some reason...

For today, life is GOOD. (And will remain so, unless the Rangers choke.)

P.S. Oh yeah, and my last quarterly column (not bowling-related; however, I'd love a job as a bowling writer/columnist!) was published in today's Star-Telegram...

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"Kelly Kulick to Bare Almost All...

2011-09-30T11:15:00.000-05:00

[made you look!] ...in ESPN the Magazine’s 'Body We Want' Feature." Such is the headline on this pba.com report. "Kelly Kulick to be Featured in ESPN Magazine" just doesn't sell the sizzle, does it? As if the "PBA cheerleaders" weren't enough.

The PBA needs less cheesecake (and, frankly, a better PR dept.). More women bowlers, yes.

Less cheesecake.

Kelly, don't Go Dadd...er, don't go Danica.

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An attempt to accentuate the positive...

2011-09-30T09:19:00.000-05:00

...I went up a pin in average last night. (Yeah, considering we're only 6 weeks into the season and I started out last night at a 167, that's one lame positive.)

The cellar-dwelling Team XX (there are only 2 other teams-- of 39-- that have a worse record than ours) took 12 out of 14 points in Game 1. Then we gave all 12 back in Game 2. In Game 3 we took only 4 points. Tim and I took total pins (barely), and a total of 6 points each. At least the 22 points we did manage to keep puts us into the 3-digit club now in the Points Won column (116)!

After 6 weeks an undefeated team would have 336 points. The best team had 188 going into last night's competition; the top team in our division had 166. We were 72 back. But there are a lot of points in this league, so a few weeks of good bowling by the entire team can make a bigger difference in this league than on Tuesday night.

So, I still am hobbled (mentally) on the lanes, barely able to bowl average. It's a long season. We just started. And I have 18 games now. After next week's games I'll have 21 and am going to SERIOUSLY make a run for "most improved" (stop chuckling...c'mon now, it's on my bucket list under "bowling goals," right next to "meet Walter Ray Williams Jr."). If I haul my lame ass up out of the 160s and settle into the 180s, I'll have a chance. Right now, no delusions. I'm focused on 180. Every game, every average. Practice or league. 180 is the pass or fail line until I get better (get the double entendre?). 180.

Last night wasn't entirely a fiasco, but there was the spilled beer that, honestly, was the cherry on top of the sundae. Damon reached for something across the table where I was keeping score and accidentally spilled my (full) beer-- all over the score sheet, the floor (at my feet), and into my bowling bag. It was just one of those nights, I guess.

Practice this afternoon with Mick (as well as a few more high school students to run through a try-out) and the Rangers are on at 4pm. Слава ж Богу что сегодня - пятница!

180 or bust.

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Bowling Rollercoaster

2011-09-29T08:48:00.000-05:00

I have added 3 blogs to the sidebar at left, one of which is a team-blog-turned-personal-blog, revamped by my virtual bowling brother, Matt, in Virginia: Bowling Rollercoaster. I pilfered two links from his blog-- the other two are blogs put up by league bowlers and all three cast insight into this sickness we have (Matt, are you really going to bowl 3 leagues per week?! My wife would beat me to death with my ball if I tried to join another league!)... No matter how well we bowl, it's never good enough (and in my case, the relative value of "good" has dropped considerably).

It is comforting (isn't it?) to know that guys like us don't suffer for our art alone, nor must we suffer in relative obscurity, thanks to efforts of this growing guild of bowling bloggers.

Anyway, keep tabs on Matt. He's been bowling a year or two less than I, yet his game has developed nicely in the last year or so... My bowling has hit puberty, has bad acne, doesn't listen, and sometimes makes me wish I had never brought it into this world. But I love it. Go figure.

I'm off to bowl with the big boys tonight.

In the last game on Tuesday night I had 10 strikes... How cool would it be to finish 4 games (with the 3 tonight, I mean) with a 50% strike ratio? I can do it. I CAN.

(just don't know if i will)

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Strike-arrhea!

2011-09-27T22:19:00.000-05:00

The 6th-place Bowling Stones got crushed tonight, giving up 6 points (after last week's sweep). In the first game tonight we were 121 pins under handicap! We went into the second game 91 pins in the hole. After the second game, we were 189 pins down... In the first two games, our pbpg avg. was a pitiful 129 (not including Debbie's blind scores). For my part, I had 5 splits and a total of 8 opens in the first pair, and only 7 strikes for a subpar 313 pins going into the third game. I was discouraged, disgusted, and suffering from a bad case of bowling constipation when the last game got underway.

The first ball in the third game was a strike. Then I had back-to-back splits. I was sitting on a 46 in the 3rd frame when the dam broke and a most-welcomed bout of strike-arrhea hit me. I had 10 strikes in that last game for a 246. It was too much too late; however, a 559 series for the night may be a positive sign.

Maybe, just maybe, I'm on my way back to the other side of 180...

Maybe.

Just maybe.

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There's a drought in Texas...

2011-09-23T10:11:00.001-05:00

It has been a seemingly, painfully long time since I have bowled well (and I mean well, not better).

I was looking back through the records for the past 3 leagues I've been in, and I have to say that I am just stunned by my stunted growth on the lanes, really since July (but the last time I bowled well in last year's fall/spring league was in April). On April 19, I had a 590 series. But it was even further back, in December, that I produced a 600 series; I had two back-to-back weeks with good series on December 7 and 14: 601 and 636. The summer leagues, July was the month: on July 5 and 12 I had two 800 series in doubles (813, 834), and on July 20 I had a 609. Since then, my bowling has gone downhill, mostly due to bad first-ball deliveries that resulted in major splits that easily shave 20-30 pins off what would otherwise be acceptable scores. In more than a few games, this has happened in the last 3 frames.

I'm trying to work through it, but I really thought I had gotten better as a bowler.

Perhaps I am delusional.

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The stench of bad bowling...

2011-09-22T22:11:00.001-05:00

...surrounds me. When I'm on the lanes, other bowlers look at me like I'm wearing a colostomy bag. I'm going to start bringing a can of Lysol to league.

Tonight, true to form, I rolled a 493. My last game was a 146 with a dead 10th. I had very few strikes tonight, a gazillion single-pin spares (I was less than 50% on 10-pins), and a boatload of splits.

We-- Team XX-- got our collective ass handed to us tonight. I'm sorry, but there's no nicer way to put it. We gave up a record 50 points. And so we will remain in last place. Rick, Tim, and I were the only ones to take points-- 2 each.

I remain a 167 average in this league, at least 13 pins from where I should be. I've hit a 500 series only once these first 5 weeks. I'm just stinkin' up the lanes.

Practice tomorrow.

Something's got to give.

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Pardon my French, but I am a...

2011-09-21T10:54:00.000-05:00

...big, steaming pile of médiocrité. I continue to have just enough splits to keep me 10-20 pins away from a 200 game. Last night I made a goodly number of strikes (and made every right corner shot with my spare ball), but I chopped the 3-6-10 in the 9th frame of the last game last night, then left a 6-7-10 in the 10th for another game that can only be described as le mot de cinq lettres (a four-letter word, well five in French). I just cannot NOT screw-up somewhere in 30 frames. So I ended up with a less-than-satisfactory (or, better, -satisfying) 523 series. I guess my consolation prize (though I'm hardly consoled) is the 374 pins I put up in the first 2 games before crappin' out (I don't know the French for that...yet) in the 3rd which helped propel my average forward by .98 of a whole pin...

On a more positive note, The Bowling Stones as a whole whooped up on the competition last night. With a 164 pbpg avg. we took all 8 points, meaning we'll likely move into the middle of the standings (from 7th place). Donna (ex- HLCL B-Teamer) joined us to fill in for Debbie (who'll be out 2 more weeks) and bowled 48 pins over average; Tim had a good night, too-- 77 pins over average. Garland, Mick, and I were under... And a few lanes to the west, Matt was having subpar night, also, finishing with a 484.

Also, on the positive side, as a team we were close to a 2500 team scratch series. That's where we need to be, to be competitive. In reality, the other team helped us win (their anchor bowler had a 300 game last week, but his series last night was lower than mine).

So I'm still discouraged. But I'm going to try, try again on Thursday.

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A year or so ago...

2011-09-18T17:43:00.000-05:00

...I would have been thrilled with a 180 practice average. Today, I'm kind of disappointed in myself (again).

I rolled 10 games today: 134, 160, 178, 198, 151, 206, 220, 208, 180, 167. That's 1,802 pins. But I started with a horrible 134 game-- 5 splits, 2 missed 10-pins (after which I made every right corner shot with my spare ball). I guess a 180 avg. with a 134 game isn't too bad, but that kind of game has to stop happening.

On the plus side, I threw a lot of strikes this afternoon! But there were also a lot of bad first-ball deliveries that left splits, some of which were game-killers.

But no matter how good or bad practice went, the shots only matter on league night(s).

And, at this point, I'll definitely take a 180 average on league night!

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Good (well, better) practice...

2011-09-17T15:10:00.001-05:00

I think I've outgrown the need to show a picture of my scores; however, after today's practice, I want the world at-large to know that the delusional bowler in me surfaced for awhile this afternoon. It's been a long time since I've felt confident on the lanes. And even with a pair of split-riddled games in the 150s (and I did some bad things with my spare ball, which made matters worse), I threw a lot of strikes. Some were trash, a few were Brooklyn, but most were pocket shots that felt good.

Mick came out of the gate with the pedal to the metal, but then... Well, it could have been prettier.

I think I may feel confident enough to enter next week's virtual tournament, using my Tuesday night scores.

Maybe by then I'll be fully delusional and back in business!

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What would WRWJr say about my bowling of late?

2011-09-17T09:42:00.001-05:00

(No, not "You suck!" C'mon...the guy's a class act.)

He would say "Practice."

So that's what I'm going to do at high noon today. Practice. And try to rediscover that delusional bowler that was me two months ago...

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I am now 10 pins under my entering average...

2011-09-16T09:34:00.001-05:00

Last week the last-place XX-ers took 34 points (winning for the first time) and I was the team chump. This week, the tied-for-last-place XX-ers gave up 34 points and we were an entire team of chumps; in the end, the 5 of us were a combined 186 pins under average. I was awful... AGAIN. I had my lowest score (135) and highest (200-- I finally got there with the new ball), averaging 163 on the night again. Just like last week. But this week I wasn't alone.

In fact, the other team pretty much sucked, too. The guy I was bowling against also had an entering average of 177 and his series was 4 pins less than mine, so we split points. Everyone of my teammates finished under average: Don (217) had a 591 series; our two subs, my barber Rick (201) had a 559, and Victor (202) had a 545; Tim was really only 3 pins under (in a way, the best on the night). Actually, we all had a pretty good time bowling poorly-- I really enjoy this Thursday night league!

I am no longer discouraged by my crappy bowling. I am greatly distressed. Last night I made horrible mistakes in the first game, had 3 splits in the second, and then, finally, the strikes came in the third. All I can do is try to keep an optimistic outlook on the season (and keep reminding myself that the season's barely a month old). Things have got to get better!

(This is not the league for a guy with a 167 average.)

In other news, the average average during my high schoolers' tryout on Wednesday was officially a 97. The high game was a 151, the low a 59. And I donated my Hammer Plague and Infection balls to a couple of kids, one a girl who says she can throw a 15 lb. ball... Practice begins October 12th, competition just before Thanksgiving, and the high school teams will bowl in Baker format (like in college). I'm looking forward coaching my school's team!

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Quote of the Day

2011-09-15T05:30:00.000-05:00

Not a bowling post, but blogworthy nonetheless...

This nugget comes from local columnist Randy Galloway (whom I've been reading since I was in high school). His column in the Star-Telegram this morning is about Tony Romo:

Tony is our football version of cheap tequila shots. You know he's bad for you, but some fool keeps ordering another round, and the next thing that hits you is tomorrow morning regret.

I couldn't have said it any better.

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I think I'm getting better...

2011-09-14T20:09:00.000-05:00

...I hate to say that, because WHAT IF IT'S NOT TRUE?!

I was at the lanes running tryouts for my high school campus' bowling club (16 kids showed up, average average was about an 85) and got in 5 practice games, averaging a 196 (I had a 233 and a 225). I threw a lot of strikes... A lot of effortless strikes... And there were a lot less splits. Without my spare ball (it's still being repaired, but should be ready for league tomorrow night), I was seriously challenged in the right corner, but otherwise I felt GOOD with my delivery.

The students were coming into the lanes for tryouts and wandering past me bowling as I was finishing the 233 game. They were amazed that I could score that high. Now they think I'm a bowling god. If they only knew...

If they only knew.

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